NFL: Halloween Edition

Scary NFL Note #1: The NFC East is really good. After Week 6, Dallas
was in 1st, after Week 7, last, and after Week 8: 2nd place. Why so
much jumping around? Every team has a winning record.

Scary NFL Note #2: The NFC North is really bad. Culpeppy out for a
while, Favre throws 5 picks, and you should've known the Bears-Lions
game would either go to a tie or be won by a defense.

Scary NFL Note #3: A Chiefs win in Denver would have put them safely
atop the division. After a 2-3 stretch, a loss would put them in last
place.

Scary NFL Note #4: Houston wins it's first game, it was their first
game that they were leading. They now have the same record as the
Packers

Scary Big Ten Note: Purdue is listed under Illinois in the football standings.

to quote Sports Illustrated:

"What he does the next nine weeks will be fascinating to watch, because
the fourth-round pick from Purdue has a chance to give the Bears and
injured starter Rex Grossman a Tom Brady/Drew Bledsoe-type situation
to deal with this offseason. If he hasn't already become Chicago's
quarterback of the future (and present)."

Stop me from barfing, please. Seriously, did he just compare Orton to
Brady? I just threw up in my mouth.

Other notes: Pac Man Jones sucks. He's terrible. So glad the Titans
snapped him up before the Chiefs had the option.

Green Bay is 1-6. Their only win: 52-3.

Bruschi takes Pats from .500 record to Division Champs again.

It must have been really hard to be a Bucs fan yesterday. Entering the
game 5-1, against the 1-5 49ers. Alex Smith injured. Tim Rattay
traded. Ken Dorsey starts, then gets injured. Who enters the game?
Cody Pickett. Started year 4th on depth chart. Comes in, 12-play 5
minute drive to get a field goal. Including a 10-yd pass to B-Lloyd on
3rd and 8. Where was the Bucs D?

Here are the 2 questions you need to ask to find out if the steelers
won the game:

1. Was Big Ben playing?
2. Were they playing the Patriots?

That's unbelievable. He's something like 20-2, with his 2 losses
coming against the Champs. What more could you ask for?

I bet when Brandon Lloyd grew up playing football and watching Joe Montana and Steve Young throw touchdown passes, he could only dream of one day being the star receiver on the 49ers. Well, that dream has come true, but I bet he didn't picture the 4th string QB starting, with the backup being 5th stringer Jesse Bachelor.

Northside Celebrations

Even 12 blocks north of madison ave, just 4 el stops away from the friendly confines, people were celebrating the best team in baseball. Looking down that street you wouldn't know this was a 2 team city. The Cubs will still be #1 in Chicago, but now the Sox are #1 in the World. It's clear that everyone loves a winner. Sweep Home Chicago.

Here's to you Matt, wish you could have been here.

The real national pastime

congrats to matt's sox. but enough about them. onward! so i found 2 chiefs bars in chicago. and yesterday brit and i gave one a shot for the redskins-chiefs game. we walked in and walked to the back tv area. from my seat i could plainly see chiefs, lions, bears, and cowboys game, with the miami game in the distance. of course we had to listen to the bears. i was kind of wondering how this place had a reputation as a chiefs bar, considering they were playing every game. well it took a good 5 minutes of game to figure out - when jared allen forced his first fumble, and the bar cheered, you could tell it was a majority of chiefs fans. there were also plenty of people rooting for the bears, a few for giants and cowboys and one lions fan (poor bastard). lions side note: it was 14 - 14 for a while, with all 4 touchdown passes thrown by delhomme. it was so bad for the lions offense that later i saw a lion streaking down the sideline assumed another pick. imagine my surprise when i saw that harrington was on the field! they managed to get 6 offensive points and knock out delhomme when he was sliding feet first. 15yds later weinke comes in to score a last second touchdown. nfc north side note: when trying to predict the division winner i thought this division was wide open because i thought the chi/det were improving and gb/min were holding ground. well the division is wide open, but only because everyone is terrible. seriously i just took a quick glance and came up with the teams better than anyone in nfc north - 18 teams easy. yet one of them will become one of the 12 playoff teams. it's funny that bears/lions are in first place, because even if you took the all-stars from those teams, that team wouldn't even make the playoffs in the afc. who's their quarterback? the chiefs won 28-21, but even after the game i had a hard time believing we won. pass defense was terrible, especially on the last drive. jared allen forces 3 fumbles, all 3 recovered by chiefs, one for td. definetly a game that chiefs win at home, lose on the road. home field is huge. it makes that incredible philly comeback even more spectacular. chiefs up huge at home, even get a dante kickoff td, and still blow it. harrington just doesn't look like an athlete. i mean i don't care if you are a pocket passer. i don't think that carson palmer is a great runner, but i look at him and think yea, he is a good athlete. i look harrington and see waterboy.

Uni Watch

Things you can only learn throw mini helmets:

7 of the 8 teams in last place have stripes down the center of thier helmet

3 of the 8 teams in first place have stripes. (counting the broncos triangle stripe, but not the bengals featuring horizontal stripes)

6 of the 7 last place teams with stripes are multicolored.
all 3 of the first place teams with stripes are single colored.

afc east: 3 of 4 have stripes: the only one that doesn't - division leader patriots who went to super bowl
nfc east: 3 of 4 have stripes: tthe only one that doesn't - eagles who went to super bowl
nfc west: 1 has stripes: 49ers. last place. embarrasing

bottom line: stripes are bad. multicolored stripes are worse than single colored stripes.

also on a less impressive note: 5 teams have white helmets. 4 are in 3rd place or worst. 1 is the best team in football. they also have a stripe. so the colts are the exception that proves the rule.

(does that make any sense? why is a rule proved by an exception. dumb expression)

only 3 teams do not have a logo decal on the both sides of their helmets. all 3 are in the same division. bengals, steelers, browns.

in case you were wondering, bengals helmets are painted while rams helmets are decals.


Also, in college, Michigan starts with a Packers yellow helmet, and then paints it blue.

World Series Burger

In honor of the impending WS WS Sweep I present the World Series Burger:

Two Beef Patties
Two Layers of Melted Cheddar
Grilled Roast Beef
Gates Barbecue Sauce
Mayo
Jalepeno Mustard
Relish
All on a Toasted Bun

WS WS

You know what's funny?

Sure there are people who paid thousands for WS WS tickets. (White Sox
World Series) And based on how good the 2 games in CHI were, and what
there were a part of, it's hard to say it wasn't worth it. And if
people paid thousands for games 6 and 7, they'll get their money back.

BUT, White Sox offered WS tickets to people who paid for 2006 Season
Tickets. So there are people who paid thousands to get season tickets
and won't get to see a WS game. I'm sure they'll enjoy those next year
when the Sox are in 3rd place. Ha

The BCS

Okay, I can't believe that this started in 98 and there is still a problem with the BCS. I have an easy solution.

But first I will address the thought of a playoff. While I wouldn't
mind it, I understand the thought behind not having one. Knowing that
one loss might knock USC out of the title picture, that USC/ND game
was huge. Especially the win/lose but no OT call from Pete Caroll. I
mean if you knew that USC would get into the playoffs even with a
loss, that game doesn't matter that much. Besides, no one in power
wants a playoff, so we can forget it anyways.

And there is talk that USC, even if they go undefeated, there is a
chance they might not go to the title game. If Va Tech goes
undefeated, their strength of schedule could place them with texas in
the title game.

Here's the solution: Keep the BCS, get rid of the BCS rankings. This
is so perfect and simple, I can't beleive that I am the only one who
thought of this:

Keep the 4 major bowls, with one rotating as a title game. Keep having
a 1 vs 2 title, and then award automatic berths to the major
conferences (minus the big east) and then have at large bids round it
out.

But get rid of the stupid ranking formula with comptuers and just
award them based on the AP poll. The pollers would get to pick who
they thought were the 2 best teams and let them fight it out. You
could still have a #3 undefeated team, but if you're #3 in the polls
you didn't play well enough to be #1 or #2 in the minds of voters.
That's different than not playing well enough to impress computers.

If you go back to the old system where 1 didn't play 2, then USC would
play Penn State, and Texas would never have a chance to prove they are
better.

I like the 4 major bowls, and I love 1 vs 2. I just want it decided by
humans. What's wrong with that?



Mark Says:

the BCS was birthed out of the controversial split national championship between
michigan (go blue in '97) went undefeated and killed ryan leaf in the
rose bowl. nebraska also went undefeated, but was much less
impressive all season, but legendary coach tom osborne, who invented
the play for the win and not the tie, was retiring. a few coaches
dropped michigan far enough in their ballots to give nebraska the
coaches poll. hence, the desire for some computers. sagarin had
already been doing a computer poll and i'm sure others were too. they
wanted an imparital, non emotional way to pick the winners. the BCS
combines the polls and a playoff. pick the top two teams, and let
them play for the title. it keeps the human element, but the
computers are designed to moderate the human emotions involved in
ranking teams.

Dave Says:

Aha! So the only basis for the media griping about a controversy in the BCS is because the media polls aren't being obeyed as fact. But as Mark points out, that's why we have computers, because maybe the pollers aren't getting it exactly right. So either the media should just accept that the BCS does pick the 2 best teams, (and maybe the computers can recoginize that better than humans) or switch to the polls as the only rankings. Neither will happen any time soon.

ESPN's Approval Ratings

Espn has a new feature this year in the NFL. Head coach approval
ratings. It is a simple poll for every coach, Do you approve of the
job __ is doing for __? Yes or no?

http://sports.espn.go.com/nfl/sportsnation/ratings

And it gives the voting % for that week. Well, I'm not so much angered
by the poll itself, then I am by the fickle fans voting in the polls.
It seems that they might as well be asking did this team win? Take a
look at Mike Shanahan for the Broncos. Coming into the game he was
5-1, and above 90% for the last 3 weeks. This week he loses by 1 point
on a last second eli touchdown into coverage, and the denver kicker
also missed a field goal earlier. So somehow because Eli was able to
thread the needle, and the Broncos miss a field goal, that means the
coach drops to 74%. If that pass gets knocked down, then he is still
90%, and that seems wrong. He is still doing a good job.

Likewise you can see how Herm Edwards fluctuates with each win and
loss. Is it his fault Pennington got injured?

Or what about Bellicheck, widely recognized as a coaching genius. I
think that if anyone really thought about do you approve of Bill's
coaching ability, they would have to say yes. But dropped from 68 to
59 in a bye week!

Basically, I think that you should can approve or disapprove of a
coach, but it shouldn't be based on how each game turns out.

Wilma Bowl

To quote the Daily Quickie from Friday Morning before the game:

"Friday Night Football! Chiefs at Dolphins: I'd claim Ronnie and Ricky are a poor man's Priest and LJ, but that would do a disservice to poor men."

Well, let's look at the stats.

Kansas City Rushing
Johnson 23/93 1td
Holmes 18/90 2td
Miami Rushing
Brown 8/95 1td 65 long
Williams 6/-1

One mistake allowing a 65-yd run, but I didn't see, so I don't know whether to blame poor tackling or applaud a nice run by the rook, but even with that KC doubles the yards, triples the scores. It's all good. Oh and the 35 yard score for Priest - it was not the typical Holmes special where he glides untouched followed by monster blocks - he broke tackles through the middle, then cuts it to the outside.

Team Stat Comparison
KC - MIA
1st Downs 24 9
Total Yards 462 286
Passing 277 192
Rushing 185 94
Penalties 7-63 4-30
3rd Down Conversions 8-17 3-13
4th Down Conversions 0-1 0-0
Turnovers 0 1
Possession 41:40 18:20

Let's see 24 first downs, monster yards, solid passing D (especially when you take away the garbage time bench qb yards.) dominate the clock, D stopping them 10 times on 3rd down. get a pick, hold on to the ball.

You ask me this afternoon KC's biggest concern: I say pass defense. Their starting qb:

Miami Passing

Frerotte 11/29 125 0td 1nt

And they weren't running the ball consistently either. Man. I know it was the dolphins, but this was a great performance. The best part: 3rd down defense. only 3/13. Incredible. That's huge.

Cloud Fucking Nine baby.

NFL Mini Helmets

Aha! In case you don't know the backstory, when I was 8/9 in Kansas City I collected the toy helmets for all 28 teams back then from 25 cent gumball machines. Of course what I wanted (the complete set that would cost 7 bucks) was only attainable through random chance, and I eventually got it but probably had to spend about 20 bucks in quarters. Well I managed to hang on to the Chiefs helmet, but I lost the rest - and of course teams have changed logos, cities, and new teams have started in the last 13 years.

So I thought it was worth it to reclaim my childhood set, and it was a hell of a lot easier to order the set online.

Hopefully I'll be able to take care of them and be able to set up the schedules and standing for a long, long time. Can you imagine Super Bowl 60, I'm 42 years old and I have the Bears vs Browns on top of the tv? Me neither.

best song of 2005

NCAA 2005 vol4

so its about week 9, and I'm #1 undefeated in my first season with the ohio state. well I'm playing MINN and after some turnovers and bad sacks (overconfident with my fast qb) I found myself down 14-0, they had the ball at midfield, and it is almost halftime. If they get even a field goal, a comeback might be impossible, especially with them receiving in the 2nd half. Well right before halftime I get a user pick (it pops up when it recognizes that you were controlling the db for a pick or the lb for a sack) and tight rope the sideline to take it to the house. 14-7 at half. Force a 3 and out, and then quickly score. 14-14. They get a field goal and to start the 4th quarter I am down 3. I want to execute a long drive to not leave them any time remaining after I score. I get to around the 50 with 90 ticks left, and my RB fumbles, but i take control of a TE near it and recover. I end up with 3rd and 12 from the 15 with 30 seconds. knowing i need at least a field goal to go to OT, i am hesitant to throw it and risk an INT, but i am centered, and don't want to run an option to try and pick up the 12, and end up with a fg off to the side.

so i call double post routes. 3 step drop and fire a bullet...wr dives and comes up with the ball on the goal line. TD. game over. on the replay i see that i was an inch away from getting sacked.

so i stayed undefeated, but imagine my surprise when i exit the game and find that i dropped to #2 in the rankings. even though i played a fantastic 2nd half, the voters liked the other undefeated team - georgia, and their win against auburn better. which i think is great. if you don't play like a number one team, even if you squeak out a win, you could go down. much better than the 2k2 dreamcast rankings which were solely based on # of wins, not who they came against, and not even losses. which favored colorado because they had 13 games instead of the normal 11. meaning 11-2 is better than 10-1.

more features on the game:

create a sign feature, "Beutjer for Heisman"
when ND comes out they show them touching the play like a champion today sign
when most teams come out they show them coming out through a tunnel
when ILL comes out they show us coming from the correct corner and no
tunnel (impressive, although the band does not lead us out)

and no chief.

Go Away Wrecking Ball

As Brittany was getting slightly bummed about the end of the Cardinal's
season, and the end of Busch Stadium, I kept changing between the game
and Comedy Central. After Pujols got out in the 7th inning, and then
they couldn't do anything in the 8th inning - I had given up hope. Brad
Lidge is the best closing pitcher. Houston is headed to their first
World Series, good for them.

I flipped back to check out the champagne celebration and saw that
there was 2 outs, nobody on. Okay, now one on. That's a start. Check
back later, whoa there are 2 on. This could get interesting. Wait, is
that, yeah, that's Pujols! The best hiiter in baseball against the best
closer. Then this exchange took place:

Dave: Hey, if Pujols hits a home run that puts the Cards ahead.
Brit: Yeah, but will he just try to make contact?
Dave: Well, he'll try to hit the ball, yeah, but he's the best hitter
in baseball.

And then a monster was unleashed. Lidge knew it as soon as the wood
touched leather. He fell to his knees, waited, then turned around. But
the ball hung up there long enough that I'm sure Lidge saw the ball hit
the windows at the top of the dome. If they weren't playing indoors
that ball lands in Dallas.

Pujols watches it, then casually runs the bases as if it was spring
training. La Russa never flinches, never uncrosses his arms. The entire
stadium is quieter than a library. They were one strike away from the
big one.

They still only need one more game, but Busch stands another day.

NFL Extracurriculars

Viking Sex Party? Sounds like the 1400's.

The Minnesota Vikings have been accused of having 17 players aboard
charter boats full of prostitustion and other unspecific sexual acts.

Most players are denying it: RB Mewelde Moore, who was on one of the
boats, and said "That's crazy. Sex? Come on."

Where's GOB when you need him?

Also, the Patriots played the Falcons last week and Michael Vick was listed

as probable. He didn't play. If the Patriots knew that Vick wouldn't
play they could plan their defense a lot better, targeting an immobile
QB.

Well in retailliation, the Pats have listed the following players as
probable.

PROBABLE: LB Tully Banta-Cain (knee); QB Tom Brady (right shoulder); WR
Troy Brown (foot); LB Matt Chatham (knee); RB Corey Dillon (ankle); CB
Randall Gay (ankle); DE Jarvis Green (shoulder); DE Marquise Hill
(ankle); LB Larry Izzo (thigh); LB Willie McGinest (finger); CB Tyrone
Poole (ankle); S James Sanders (ankle); S Guss Scott (knee); DE Richard
Seymour (knee); CB Duane Starks (thigh)

White Sox

Yes the ump blew it. As show by frame by frame zoom in replays, he got
it wrong. But it was happening at full speed and he didn't have a clear
view. He made a call. Until basebal gets instant reply, there will be
bad calls. It's part of the game. It still stings when you get a bad
call, but it's part of the game.

The end result was a man on first with 2 outs, not any better then they
had in the 8th inning. But either it was just the chance the Sox
needed, or the Angels were so bitter that they handed 2nd base to them,
and threw them a beachball on an 0-2 count.

Also Jeers to Fox for wanting both baseball games to played
simultaneously only on their channel. So not only can fans in those
markets not even flip to watch the other game, but fans outside of
local markets have no choice in what game they get.

Arrested Development Quotes

day one
G.O.B.: 52% of the country is single. That's a market that's been
dominated by apartment rentals. Let's take some of that market. I
call it "Single City."
Narrator: ... his ideas failed to evolve.
day two
G.O.B.: It's, like, "Hey, you want to go down to the whirlpool?"
"Yeah, I don't have a husband." I call it "Swing City."
Stan Sitwell: Let's get into some new areas, if you don't mind.
Narrator: But G.O.B. continued to fine-tune his first one.
day three
G.O.B.: How do we filter out the teases? We don't let them in.
day four
G.O.B.: This goes for the guys, too. Because sometimes the guys are
tapped out. But check your lease, man. Because you're living in Bleep
City.
G.O.B.: (Chuckles.) I'm an ideas man, Michael. I think I've proved
that with Bleep Mountain.

G.O.B.: Steve Holt's not my son.
George Michael: Steve Holt? What, the moron jock?
G.O.B.: That's my son, you pothead.

G.O.B.: But it's not like envy, or even hungry.
Michael: Could it be love?
G.O.B.: I know what an erection feels like, Michael. No, it's the
opposite. It's... it's like my heart is getting hard. Maybe I am
ready to be a father.

Lucille: How am I supposed to find someone willing to go into that
musty old claptrap?
Michael: The cabin! Yes, th... well, that would be difficult, too.

Tobias: No, no, no, no. I-I was scared too, but I realized it was of
being a leading man. Oh, I can just taste those meaty leading man parts
in my mouth.

G.O.B.: Please refrain from discussing or engaging in any sort of
interoffice bleeping or bleeping or finger bleep or bleepsting or
bleeping or even bleep. Even though so many people in this office are
begging for it. And if anybody does anything with my sister Lindsay,
I'll take off my pants, I'll shave bleep. And I'll personally
bleep...

Tobias: Well, yes, but I'm afraid I prematurely shot my wad on what
was supposed to be a dry run, if you will, so now I'm afraid I have
something of a mess on my hands.
Michael: There are just so many poorly chosen words in that sentence.

Michael: That's a wonderful performance, Dad. You're a regular Brad
Garrett.
(Brad beat out Jeffrey Tambor for the Emmy just a week or so before the
episode aired)

Maeby: Oh, hey, Michael. My dad wanted me to thank you for the romantic
getaway. Don't tell me what that means.
Michael: Where is your dad?
Maeby: He left dressed all westerny. You can leave me out of that part,
too.
Narrator: And Michael realized that perhaps somebody would get hurt.
Michael: I screwed my brother-in-law.
Maeby: Well, I'm all grown up now.

George Michael: Yeah, I know. I'm tempted to kiss again just so we
can teach them a lesson.
Maeby: And why would that teach them a lesson?
George Michael: Oh, I mean, to freak them out.
Maeby: Yeah? But that doesn't make any sense.
George Michael: Well, isn't that what makes it funny? I'm laughing.
Go fish. Uno.

Michael: Look, I don't want your forgiveness, Dad. I want the guy
with the one arm and the fake blood. J. Walter Weatherman. How do I get
a hold of him?
George, Sr.: Well, he's, uh, dead. You killed him when you left the
door open with the air conditioner on.

Buster: "'Cause I'm an uptight... (long bleep)... Buster... (long
bleep)... you old horny slut!"
Michael: Well, no one's going to top that.

Michael: You haven't auditioned yet?
Tobias: Oh, no, no. I'm not in the group yet. No, I'm afraid I just
blue myself.

Tobias: Well, Michael, you really are quite the Cupid, aren't you? I
tell you, you can zing your arrow into my buttocks any time.

Jessie: No. There are very few intelligent, attractive and straight men
in this town.
Tobias: Well, that certainly leaves me out. (Chuckles.) She... she said
single. You did say single, correct? I...

Tobias: You know, Michael, perhaps I should buy you that tape recorder.
Do you have any idea how often you say the word "afraid"?
Michael: Well, I-I know I used it in the Jacuzzi.
Tobias: And I apologize for that. I thought it was a pool toy.

Lucille: That hairless freak is coming here? None of his hair is real,
you know.
G.O.B.: You mean the guy we're meeting with can't even grow his own
hair? Come on!

Stan Sitwell: The only thing I ask is, out of the 450 homes we build,
one be given to a disadvantaged family from the inner city.
G.O.B.: That's great. So the other 449 families live in fear? Is that
what we're saying? I mean, come on! Where's your decenc...?
G.O.B.: What the hell just fell off your face? One-One... One of those
guy's eyebrows just fell in the bowl of candy beans.
Stan Sitwell: I always carry a spare.
G.O.B.: Well, I hope you also carry a spare bowl of candy beans.

Tobias Fünke: That Funke is some kind of something! Boy, this Funke is
all anybody's ever talking about! So sick and tired of hearing about
how brilliant that Funke is! Overrated!

G.O.B.: I'm intercepting some telepathic energy. It's telling me
it's the... eight of diamonds.
George Michael: That's amazingly close.
G.O.B.: Gee, I got it wrong. Well, I guess you won the shirt off my back.
George Michael: Okay, that's amazing.
G.O.B.: It's the queen of diamonds.
George Michael: No, no, but, I mean, if that had been the actual card, I'm pretty sure I'd be almost too blown away.
G.O.B.: It's a, you know, it's a new trick. I'm still tweaking my nipple thing.
George Michael: Your presentation is great.
Michael: Whoa! What's going on here, huh? George Michael, you should get to school.
George Michael: No, we're off for two weeks, Dad. G.O.B.'s teaching me some new tricks.
G.O.B.: Spring break. It's my favorite holiday. Nothing gets me more excited.
Michael: I can see that. You might want to button that shirt up.

Narrator: Michael got a message he intended to ignore...
Cell phone text: "From Lucille Bluth. Need money."
Narrator: ... until he read the next line.
Cell phone text: "a matter of land"
Michael: A matter of land, Mom?
Lucille: Oh, that's funny. I meant "a matter of 'L' and 'D'." Life and death.
Michael: What is the matter of life and death?Lucille: Buster's jaw clicks when he eats.

what the bleep were you thinking ref?

so there i am watching mnf when i see one of the worst calls/rules i've ever seen.

the chargers were receiving a punt on their own 15 and signaled for a fair catch. the ball bounces off the returner's shoulder and goes up in the air in front of him. a steeler catches the ball on the fly and immediately gets tackled by the returner. even after the bounce, the returner was falling backwards and tried to catch it again but couldn't.

the ruling on the field. 15-yard penalty for fair catch interference. Whaaaaaaaa?

The ref cited a rule that when a fair catch is called the returned must have an uninterfered with attempt to catch it, even if it is muffed and still in the air.

But he attempted to catch it (twice) and failed. So they punish a Steeler for catching the ball.

Chicago Sports

so i'm not about to hop on any chicago bandwagons, but i will say this, it is kind of cool to live in a market full of pro teams. driving by soldier field every week, it's just cool. (for the record, i still don't care about baseball, but i'm a sucker for playoffs in just about anything. i would watch playoffs in office flickball contests. and as for rooting for teams, i'd like to see the white sox beat the yankees, and the cards beat the astros. i'm rooting as hard as I was for boston to win the alcs last year, i think it would be cool, but i'm not at all invested and don't consider myself a fan of either team)

the point was that i can pay 10 bucks to see crosby and 30 to see lebron. and while i'm not about to pay 70 to see a non-chiefs game, it's kind of cool to know that if i wanted to see vick or peyton or tomlinson or orton, i could do so fairly easily. but seriously excluding a 2007 bears/chiefs game that i plan on attending, i can't imagine a more agonizing 3 hours of football than attending a bears game live.

i mean who doesn't love a punter's duel? although it would be fun to watch the touchdown vs. turnover ratio.

also apparently this isnt the teams site bears.com

i did a smidge of digging and found out that the bears are actually outscoring the opponents on the year. although that is skewed because they ran up the score on a division 1-AA team. (yes i know the lions are in first place, congrats, and yes i know i am doing a lot of trash talking after the chiefs completely melt down last week and gave me a simultaneous stroke and heart attack)

here are some more bears stats:

tds 8
turnovers 11

defensive tds 2
passing td 2
ints 6
punts 21

rush yds/game 127
pass yds/game 128

3rd down% 22/56
field goal 2/6

the point is it's cool to be able to see games here

I have a very urgent and late breaking news story...

Okay, think back to the Major League movies. Remember the big black
guy who could only hit fastballs and used voodoo, and gave rum to his
voodoo doll to help him curve balls. Remember him?

Do you know who that was? President Palmer! Or Matt, since you don't watch 24, you might only
know him as the Allstate guy.

How crazy is that? He was in all 3 major league movies and even Mr.
Baseball. Just a guess but I'm pretty sure that he did 24 to pay the
bills until he found a way to get into another low budget baseball
movie.

Sports Guy vs Chicago

this is so ironic. or something.

The Sports Guy set up a book tour to promote his 2004 red sox champs
book. They set the dates weeks before they were even sure that the Red
Sox would be in the playoffs. So it was a coincidence that he
happenned to be in Chicago the night of game 2 ALDS.

Even more of a coincidence, game time and his book signing started
right at 6pm. So presumably he was watching the game while he signed
books for chicagoins while rooting against chicago, watching his team
get out to a 4-0 lead before the wsox come back to win. ouch.

By the way, he picked boston to beat chicago in 4.

NCAA 2005 vol3

i knew coming in to my game against FAU, that it would be a rout. but i had no idea.

my true freshman was 20 for 37. so that's okay. but it racked up 493 yards and 9 passing tds. he also ran for a score.
perfect 6 tds in 6 red zone chances.

amazingly my defense played better than my offense.

fau 20 passes, 0 completions. 4 interceptions. they didn't catch a single pass.
23 rushes for -7 yards.
total offense: -7

5 sacks, 9 forced punts.
although they did have a slight edge in TOP.

final score 84-0.

to be fair to their passing stats, after 14 incompletions and 3 picks, i knocked their starting senior qb out of the game. they put in a freshman and he managed to throw 6 incompletions and 1 pick. the previous week against georgia tech i knocked their starting qb out for the season.

after 3 games, my qb has 1119 yards and 21 tds. Sports Illustrated* says "there isn't a better player in the country right now" as he takes the top spot in the heisman watch. *i'm not joking. it's really cool. although we'll have to watch and see if there is a cover jinx.

he is also player of the week for the ncaa - 2nd time in 3 weeks.

my defense leads the country in the following categories:

yards/game 33
rushing yds/game -7
points/game 1 (only a field goal through 3 games)
sacks 19
picks 8
red zone scoring 0%

NCAA 2005 vol2

now for a ridiculous long rant about ps2 football. to really pretend
like this is senior year, cook something in a toaster oven and then
read this as if were talking while playing in our living room.

i got through the first season of my auburn dynasty. turns out they
had oklahoma beating usc in the championship. wrong result, but pretty
impressed that they managed to get the right teams winning. i wonder
if oklahama will suck in year 2. i bet not.

well with auburn i lost at lsu and tennessee and then lost my rivalry
game against bama. 3 losses kept me out of the conference championship
and a major bowl. but i did beat georgia tech in the chick-fil-a peach
bowl.

i think the game simulates other games with much longer quarters -
teams average about 500 yards on offense. so that kinda sucks. because
i had the #1 ranked defense and #109 offense. those aren't completely
false, but a little exaggerated. i did allow under 200 yards a game. i
also sucked at redzone - scored only 70% of the time. mostly because
my kicker was terrible and i had to learn the new kicking meter.

so then i started the offseason and they have a great recruiting
system, similar to fantasy, where you have recruiting points to spend
and you get to sell them on a feature of the program (you choose
prestige, playing time, location, etc.) except that i had no idea how
many points to spend on a guy vs. how many guys to go after.

i did end up getting a stellar qb. my freshman is better than every
other qb on the roster. the bummer was i only drafted 7 guys while
other schools were recruiting 20. also i had a kicker transfer so i
didn't recruit one. turns out he can't play his transfter year so i
have a punter doing kicks.

so after focusing on running with cadillac my first year, i thought i
would try and get my freshman qb the heisman. i had the option to add
a non-conf game so i set up auburn at illinois, week 1.

incredible game. my qb throws 6 tds, sneaks for another. auburn d
forces 6 turnovers. 4 picks, one where i jumped the route, tipped it,
caught it, took it to the house. also the fumbles aren't random
anymore - there is a big hit button (with the risk of missing them
completely) and my punt return has muffed a few.

in the redzone 8 times, 8 tds.
final 63-0.

i took out the starters late to protect against injury, but once i got
in the redzone i had to score to protect my redzone stats. so my
backup qb threw for a score. herbstreit said that i was just running
my offense, but corso digs into me saying there was no reason to throw
td passes with that kind of lead.

what about the polls man. got to impress the voters.

so yeah there you go. auburn 2006 1-0. i knew it would be long.

NCAA 2005 vol1

I'll take a break from talking about fake nfl to talk about fake
college football. specifically my ps2 ncaa 2005 game. as ncaa 06 just
came out, i opted for last years version. mainly because it is only 10
bucks, but it also features the 05 class which i am more familiar with
because of the nfl draft. So i can play with cadillac williams, cedric
benson, jason white, alex smith, jon beutjer, derrick johnson, etc.

As for how they represent illinois...the first thing i noticed is
there is no I at the 50-yard line. there's nothing. just 100 yards of
green grass. but then i started noticing all the good things. the
endzones are accurate (more than dreamcast 2k2 could say) and they
have the updated scoreboard with the 4 pictures surrounding it. here's
the kicker...it asks you for your favorite team - so the main menu is
orange and blue and plays the war chant. pretty cool.