Wednesday, August 24, 2016

Fixing The Summer Olympics

Some Olympics sports are unnecessary. Golf, tennis and soccer all come to mind that are redundant, because they are inferior versions of existing tournaments (majors and the World Cup.) Basketball is necessary because its world championship is inferior to the Olympic tournament. Equestrian can go just because it's not even a sport. And let's lose racewalking because honestly.

Before I get to the sports I'd like to add, holy shit look at this Field Hockey Game. That was brilliant. I only saw that researching this article to see if floor hockey as I know it would be different than field hockey. Let's just stick with field hockey.

The IOC is adding karate, skateboarding, baseball/softball, surfing and climbing. None of these get me excited.

Here are some sports I'd like to add.

Dodgeball
This is really the best one. Putting countries in direct competition with each other. I would watch the shit out of this.

Paintball
I would make it so that the course changes from day to day, forcing teams to develop new strategies on the fly. Basically this is simulated war between countries, but harmless!

Tug of War
I really liked Deadspin's plan for this, using Olympians from the existing roster. 

Beach Soccer & Futsal
Look, beach volleyball is more fun than regular volleyball. And we already have the World Cup so we don't need the real soccer teams. This would be fun.

Outdoor Basketball (3 on 3)
Likewise, I think 3 on 3 could be the beach volleyball version of basketball. I'd make it outdoor just for aesthetics.

Bowling Pin Knockdown 
This game may not be well known at all. I played it in middle school. We called it Handball but it's not the handball that's in the Olympics. It was played with a small dodgeball, with ultimate frisbee rules of catching and passing, and the goal was to knock down a bowling pin at the end of the court. It was awesome. It's probably too close to Handball but whatever. In researching this, I found something called Pin Knockover which is just a less war-like dodgeball. I'd watch that too.

Ultimate Frisbee
Why not?

Shuffleboard & Darts & Foosball
If we have ping-ping, why not other bar games?


1 comment:

  1. Beach soccer....now with 100x the ankle injuries!! ;P

    ReplyDelete