Friday, November 03, 2006

Green Bay is the Ultimate Sports City

It's Friday, so it's time for part three of a thirtysomething-part series.

Basketball

Hmm...perhaps it's just to cold to play basketball there. Or maybe, Green Bay doesn't care about black people. But here's why Green Bay is such a great sports city. What do you order at basketball games? That's right: nachos. And what does Green Bay have? That's right: cheese. Case closed.

Hockey
Well, there's no NHL teams, but if the Packers ever leave, they could just play hockey in Lambeau Field. It is after all, frozen tundra. And they presumably have enough white people to field a team, so I'm fairly positive that if Green Bay had a hockey team, they would win the Stanley Cup every year. Maybe that's exactly why they don't have a team--they would be too good.

Baseball
This shouldn't be a factor because baseball is a spring-summer sport, and they don't have spring or summer in Green Bay. It would thaw the tundra. Part of the blame should go to Green Bay's puny population. They don't even have enough people to fill the Big House in Ann Arbor, so how could they get a starting roster for a baseball team. Impossible. But they do have cheese, which is great on pretzels at baseball games.

Football
Ahhh, football. The bread and butter of Green Bay. Or bread and cheese, if you will. This will prove beyond a shadow a doubt that this is the Best Sports City. The first question you might ask yourself, if what is a Packer? Well of course, it's named after the teams founding sponsor, The Indian Packing Company. Then you might ask yourself, what's so great about the Packers? Two words. Brett Favre. Brett Favre is Brett Favre. And he is breaking all sorts of records, including the all-time interception record. Green Bay is so good, I'm sure he'll get that record he's been chasing.

Part One: Detroit
Part Two: Miami


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