Monday, September 20, 2010

Hoagie Central's Monday Morning Bonerjam NFL Jumbalaya: Week 2 2010


The Cowboys were 8.5 point favorite at home against Chicago. Dallas outgained, and outconverted 3rd downs, but they had 3 turnovers. Meanwhile, Cutler has a great game with 3 scores and no picks. While it looks like you can pencil in the Packers as the division winners, Chicago's setting themselves up nicely for a wild-card berth.

Speaking of the Packers, they had a ho-hum 27-point blowout of the Bills. Buffalo seemed to be more interested in showcasing Lynch as trade bait. The Bills haven't done anything yet to prove they aren't the worst team in the league, or at least the conference.

Meanwhile, at the Metrodome, they popped the cork on a vintage Favre performance. Swirl the glass to smell the sweet aroma of 4 turnovers. Classic. The Dolphins open with 2 road wins, and the AFC East looks like a three-way dogfight, plus the Bills.

Matt Ryan is 13-1 at home and the Falcons bounce back after losing at Pittsburgh on the road in overtime last week. The Cardinals stink. It's a shame for Fitzgerald that Holmes made that Super Bowl catch, because the good times in Arizona are over.

So the Titans look great in week 1, now they're home against the Steelers who are playing a combo of Dennis Dixon and Charlie Batch...and they can't do anything against that defense. Chris Johnson held under 40 yards. They bench VY and Collins gets in to throw a pick. If the Steelers can win on the road with those QBs, watch out, because their defense is for real again.

The Panthers/Bucs are an example of how fantasy skews your perspective. The Bucs have no fantasy stars, and the Panthers have 2 good backs. But the Bucs go on the road and Freeman looks good. Matt Moore not so much, plus an injury, and the Jimmy Clausen era is ready to begin in Carolina. If you picked the Panthers to be last in the South, congrats.

Lions get up 17-7 on 2 scores by Jahvid Best, who's breaking all sorts of records. Now we all know what Schwartz meant when he said. "Some people watch adult videos on their computer, I go to YouTube and watch Jahvid Best highlight clips. That's what gets me aroused." But because it's Detroit, the Eagles score 4 touchdowns unaswered, 35-17. Again the Lions storm back, too little too late. Also, have 2 running backs owned by the same fantasy team who looked that unimpressive on paper, ever combined for that many points? 76.5 for Best and McCoy. Matt didn't have a chance.

After winning ugly vs the Jets last week, the Ravens fall to the Bengals. But the Ravens always struggle with Cinci; there are better days ahead for Baltimore. A roughing the passer that shouldn't have been also helped the Bengals get the go-ahead field goal.

Denver wins at home. Yawn. This is how stuff works. Seattle can beat the 49ers at home. Denver can beat Seattle at home. Can the 49ers beat the Saints at home? We'll find out tonight while Hartley kicks 4 field goals.

Rare that you bench your newly acquired free agent QB, and get a win out of it. But I guess that's how good Bruce Gradkowski is. Also, that stupid field in Oakland with the baseball dirt is terrible.

Moss scores on Revis Island, but it doesn't matter. You cannot stop Mark Sanchez, you can only hope to contain him! The Pats still have Brady, but don't have the defense that led them to titles.

Garrard was not as silky as Rivers. I think the Chargers proved that they are still the best team in the AFC West.

And the Manning Bowl was a dud. Did the Colts not read Simmons' column? The same one that thought the Colts were done with, but led with a big focus about not jumping to conclusions after week 1?

And then we get to Texans @ Redskins.

Washington proved they had an offense and jumped out to a 27-10 lead in the 3rd quarter at home. Cut to 27-20 in the 4th and the Texans' Pollard blocks a field goal. And just before the final two-minute warning, on 4th and 10, throws a prayer to A. Johnson, who answers it in the end zone.

In overtime, the Texans get the ball first, and instead of allowing Rackers to attempt a 53-yarder for the win, they punt. I thought it was a mistake, that you have to attempt to win. The punt goes for a touchback and before you know it, the Redskins are ready to attempt a 52-yarder.

The same kicker that had one blocked earlier, this time sails it right through. But Kubiak, the Texans coach, called timeout and it doesn't count. Of course, the NFL coach that first used that move is the current Redskins coach, Shanahan. The second time, the kicker shanks it right and now you know how this story ends.

With the good field position, and the final of Schuab's 497 passing yards, the Texans set up a game-winning Rackers field goal. And that's what happens in the NFL. If it works, you're a genius.

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