G.O.B.: 52% of the country is single. That's a market that's been
dominated by apartment rentals. Let's take some of that market. I
call it "Single City."
Narrator: ... his ideas failed to evolve.
day two
G.O.B.: It's, like, "Hey, you want to go down to the whirlpool?"
"Yeah, I don't have a husband." I call it "Swing City."
Stan Sitwell: Let's get into some new areas, if you don't mind.
Narrator: But G.O.B. continued to fine-tune his first one.
day three
G.O.B.: How do we filter out the teases? We don't let them in.
day four
G.O.B.: This goes for the guys, too. Because sometimes the guys are
tapped out. But check your lease, man. Because you're living in Bleep
City.
G.O.B.: (Chuckles.) I'm an ideas man, Michael. I think I've proved
that with Bleep Mountain.
G.O.B.: Steve Holt's not my son.
George Michael: Steve Holt? What, the moron jock?
G.O.B.: That's my son, you pothead.
G.O.B.: But it's not like envy, or even hungry.
Michael: Could it be love?
G.O.B.: I know what an erection feels like, Michael. No, it's the
opposite. It's... it's like my heart is getting hard. Maybe I am
ready to be a father.
Lucille: How am I supposed to find someone willing to go into that
musty old claptrap?
Michael: The cabin! Yes, th... well, that would be difficult, too.
Tobias: No, no, no, no. I-I was scared too, but I realized it was of
being a leading man. Oh, I can just taste those meaty leading man parts
in my mouth.
G.O.B.: Please refrain from discussing or engaging in any sort of
interoffice bleeping or bleeping or finger bleep or bleepsting or
bleeping or even bleep. Even though so many people in this office are
begging for it. And if anybody does anything with my sister Lindsay,
I'll take off my pants, I'll shave bleep. And I'll personally
bleep...
Tobias: Well, yes, but I'm afraid I prematurely shot my wad on what
was supposed to be a dry run, if you will, so now I'm afraid I have
something of a mess on my hands.
Michael: There are just so many poorly chosen words in that sentence.
Michael: That's a wonderful performance, Dad. You're a regular Brad
Garrett.
(Brad beat out Jeffrey Tambor for the Emmy just a week or so before the
episode aired)
Maeby: Oh, hey, Michael. My dad wanted me to thank you for the romantic
getaway. Don't tell me what that means.
Michael: Where is your dad?
Maeby: He left dressed all westerny. You can leave me out of that part,
too.
Narrator: And Michael realized that perhaps somebody would get hurt.
Michael: I screwed my brother-in-law.
Maeby: Well, I'm all grown up now.
George Michael: Yeah, I know. I'm tempted to kiss again just so we
can teach them a lesson.
Maeby: And why would that teach them a lesson?
George Michael: Oh, I mean, to freak them out.
Maeby: Yeah? But that doesn't make any sense.
George Michael: Well, isn't that what makes it funny? I'm laughing.
Go fish. Uno.
Michael: Look, I don't want your forgiveness, Dad. I want the guy
with the one arm and the fake blood. J. Walter Weatherman. How do I get
a hold of him?
George, Sr.: Well, he's, uh, dead. You killed him when you left the
door open with the air conditioner on.
Buster: "'Cause I'm an uptight... (long bleep)... Buster... (long
bleep)... you old horny slut!"
Michael: Well, no one's going to top that.
Michael: You haven't auditioned yet?
Tobias: Oh, no, no. I'm not in the group yet. No, I'm afraid I just
blue myself.
Tobias: Well, Michael, you really are quite the Cupid, aren't you? I
tell you, you can zing your arrow into my buttocks any time.
Jessie: No. There are very few intelligent, attractive and straight men
in this town.
Tobias: Well, that certainly leaves me out. (Chuckles.) She... she said
single. You did say single, correct? I...
Tobias: You know, Michael, perhaps I should buy you that tape recorder.
Do you have any idea how often you say the word "afraid"?
Michael: Well, I-I know I used it in the Jacuzzi.
Tobias: And I apologize for that. I thought it was a pool toy.
Lucille: That hairless freak is coming here? None of his hair is real,
you know.
G.O.B.: You mean the guy we're meeting with can't even grow his own
hair? Come on!
one be given to a disadvantaged family from the inner city.
G.O.B.: That's great. So the other 449 families live in fear? Is that
what we're saying? I mean, come on! Where's your decenc...?
G.O.B.: What the hell just fell off your face? One-One... One of those
guy's eyebrows just fell in the bowl of candy beans.
Stan Sitwell: I always carry a spare.
G.O.B.: Well, I hope you also carry a spare bowl of candy beans.
Tobias Fünke: That Funke is some kind of something! Boy, this Funke is
all anybody's ever talking about! So sick and tired of hearing about
how brilliant that Funke is! Overrated!
G.O.B.: I'm intercepting some telepathic energy. It's telling me
it's the... eight of diamonds.
George Michael: That's amazingly close.
G.O.B.: Gee, I got it wrong. Well, I guess you won the shirt off my back.
George Michael: Okay, that's amazing.
G.O.B.: It's the queen of diamonds.
George Michael: No, no, but, I mean, if that had been the actual card, I'm pretty sure I'd be almost too blown away.
G.O.B.: It's a, you know, it's a new trick. I'm still tweaking my nipple thing.
George Michael: Your presentation is great.
Michael: Whoa! What's going on here, huh? George Michael, you should get to school.
George Michael: No, we're off for two weeks, Dad. G.O.B.'s teaching me some new tricks.
G.O.B.: Spring break. It's my favorite holiday. Nothing gets me more excited.
Michael: I can see that. You might want to button that shirt up.
Narrator: Michael got a message he intended to ignore...
Cell phone text: "From Lucille Bluth. Need money."
Narrator: ... until he read the next line.
Cell phone text: "a matter of land"
Michael: A matter of land, Mom?
Lucille: Oh, that's funny. I meant "a matter of 'L' and 'D'." Life and death.
Michael: What is the matter of life and death?Lucille: Buster's jaw clicks when he eats.
No comments:
Post a Comment