Overload

Remember when you had to wait until tomorrow's newspaper to find out what happenned today? Me either.

Why wait until tomorrow when you can watch SportsCenter in a couple hours?

But why wait until 5pm when you can watch Around the Horn and PTI break down everything going on in sports at 4pm.

But sometimes that's not fast enough. Good think there is ESPNews, running just news constantly.

But what if you can't wait to get through the newscycle, you need it now. Just log on to espn.com.

Yeah, that's pretty good, but their lead story only changes a couple times a day. If only there was some sports news site that updated news stories 20 times a day. Enter deadspin.com.

But what if you're not at a computer, or it's just not fast enough. I wish there was some sort of phone that could call me when anything happens. Did Pujols hit a dinger? Did the Bucks take the lead over the Pistons? Is the Dodgers game getting rain delayed? Is someone applying an ice pack? Was there a blocking foul in the NBA? I need to know! Now! Thank goodness there is an ESPN phone.

But it's not really instant, is it? That's why I am so excited about the news that scientists are developing a new microchip that can be implanted in fetuses in the womb, so that as soon as a baby enters the world, all the latest scores, highlights, and analysis is transmitted electronically directly into the brain. But is it fast enough?