Introducing the 9-Day Week

What if I told you that you could have more free time and at the same time have business run more effectively? Is that something you might be interested in?

I'm sure it is. Introducing the 9-day week:

Sunday*
Monday
Tuesday
Lunesday
Wednesday*
Nuesday
Thursday
Friday
Saturday*

The days marked with asterisks are not work days. As you can see, we will now work 6 out of 9 days, instead of 5 out of 7.

There are major benefits to this schedule:

• Instead of working 71% of the time, we now only have to work 66% of the time. Score!
• 5-day weeks burn people out. Convenient 3-day half weeks let people work without letting stress build up as much.
• The football season (4 weeks of preaseason, 17 regular season, 4 weeks of playoffs) now lasts 25 weeks out of 40 weeks, instead of 25 weeks out of 52 weeks.
  
• The extra days give football players more rest throughout the week, reducing injuries and increasing quality of play.
• All my shirts that I printed with the slogan "Thank God It's Lunesday" now make sense.
• You are now able to take 3 days off from work, and have a 6-day weekend. Sweet!

There is one downside to this schedule:

• It's not in place yet.
  

As you can see, this proposal is win-win-win. And it has acedemic support.
It also has support from the music industry.
So please call your Congressman and your local cable operator and request the 9-day week. Your future depends on it!