Sunday, July 08, 2007

how to spend 9 hours at a movie theater

alternative titles for this post:
this is your brain on movies
why i need my wife around
the biggest movie hop in history

I was prepared. I had my schedule. I started early in the day. And I even had a costume change. I was ready.

12:50 -- Live Free or Die Hard
3:15 -- Transformers
5:40 -- Evan Almighty
7:45 -- 1408

I entered the complex at 12:40 in the afternoon, on a sunny, warm Saturday, and left at 9:40 at night.

In that 9 hours, I saw 4 movies with a total running time of 7 hours and 37 minutes. But there was less down time then you might think. Only before the last movie, when I was 20 minutes early, was I waiting for the previews to start. The timing was perfect. I only used the bathroom once and didn't eat anything. T

On the way home, all the movies were blending together, and my brain felt like mush. But what about the movies themselves?

Die Hard - 10/10
(Rotten Tomatoes: 78%)

This was awesome and well worth the price of admission. The action was incredible, featuring stuff I've never seen before. Bruce was awesome as ever and Justin Long was great too. Exceeded all my expectations.

Transformers - 2/10
(Rotten Tomatoes: 56%)

This movie made zero sense. It had hints of enjoyability, but never delivered. At any point I was willing to walk out, but thought I should give it the benefit of the doubt to finish and salvage wasn't necessary.

Evan Almighty - 8/10
(Rotten Tomatoes: 24%)

How could a movie starring Steve Carell not be funny? Moreover, how could a movie starring Steve Carell not be funny and still be enjoyable?

First off, it's rated PG, and that way for a reason. This is not a frat pack comedy, this is a kids/family movie. This is a feel good movie about faith, God, and doing the right thing. It's not worth 8 bucks, but I left the theater with a smile on my face.

1408 - 9/10
(Rotten Tomatoes: 77%)

I was expecting a thriller, and thought it was an exceptionally scary thriller.
But perhaps it should be classified as a horror movie, and considered an exceptionally well done horror film.

Based on a Stephen King story, it builds tension continuously without any lulls, and the biggest scares were not from a loud noise or a ghost jumping (although there were plenty of those) but from the gradual realizations of what is going on. Very well done.


I paid 8 bucks and got my money's worth.

Fair value of each movie:
Die Hard - 10 bucks
Transformers - 2 bucks
Evan Almighty - 4 bucks
1408 - 6 bucks


Here are the reviews for the other summer movies I've seen:

SiCKO - 9/10
(Rotten Tomatoes: 91%)

A must see movie. Doesn't get a 10 from me because of how he glossed over any negatives ignoring that there might be anything wrong with UHC in practice.

Ocean's Thirteen - 9/10
(Rotten Tomatoes: 70%)

I give the first one a 10, the sequel a 5, and this one a 9. Not as perfect as the first one, but nothing wrong with this one.

Knocked Up - 9/10
(Rotten Tomatoes: 92%)

Not as funny as 40YOV, but great nonetheless. Part of a new era of comedies that are just hilarious.


I noticed that I was giving a lot of 9's, but the sample was not random. If I was seeing every movie at the theater, I'm sure I would have covered each grade.


  1. Seriously, when is "Mrs. Hoagie Central" returning? This blog is getting a little ridiculous without her around.

    Also, I saw Michael Moore on The Daily Show a little while back and he didn't seem like the same guy we saw at the U of I and who made "Bowling for Columbine". He seems like he's got some serious agendas and is making more of propaganda than documentary. Also, he's huge.

    I haven't seen his newest movie, but I can tell you a little about universal health care in Israel. If a kid has a small cough, he goes to the doctor. If a kid has a tumor, he waits in line for the doctor along with the kid with a cough. People here go to the doctor for the smallest things, so everybody waits in long lines and the service isn't as good. Also, many people still carry private insurance (if they can afford it) for big operations when they want a better doctor. The UHC clinics aren't top-notch.

  2. It sounds like Israel's UHC could use some improvement as well...but if everyone took a vote on whether to get rid of their UHC, how many would support that?