two days later

Editor's Note: I wasn't going to write anything, because who cares what I think? But this blog has never been about writing for others--I use it more than anyone to capture the time and refer back to it. And now it's very real to me that I will have children and in the near future they could ask me: what was it like? I can ask my parents how they felt when we landed on the moon or where they were when JFK was shot, but I wouldn't get more than a few sentences filtered through the passage of time. So here it is. 

- -

It is now Tuesday morning. When I found out Sunday night that the U.S. killed bin Laden, I didn't know exactly how to feel. It was good news and yet I didn't have the urge to go driving and honk my horn or gather at the White House gates or chant U-S-A at a Phillies game.

So how do I feel?

Here are two quotes from Obama: "Justice was done here." "I think we can all agree that this is a good day for America."

Obama has to word everything he says carefully, and I agree with those two statements. I'm glad that when the 10th Anniversary of September 11th rolls around, every American will be able to say, "at least we finally got him."

But instead of celebrating I feel more like someone attending a lethal injection of a mass murderer. They got what they deserved. It's over. But I take no joy in another death. It had to be done.

This quote from Brian D. McLaren hit home: "Joyfully celebrating the killing of a killer who joyfully celebrated killing carries an irony that I hope will not be lost on us."

Am I more proud to be an American today then I was last week? No. If it's possible, I am more proud of the U.S. Navy Seals. To do that mission with a mechanical problem and still have zero casualties. Simply amazing. Our unrealistic heroes on film and idealistic video game protagonists pale in comparison to real thing. And I have no problem with them celebrating--they faced a task 10 years in the making with the whole world watching the results and they did it flawlessly.

But for me...I have not sung any songs or chanted in the street. This is justice by death, not a party.