Calcutta Transcript for Playoff Teams

Here's the 2019 auction transcript for just the playoff teams.

AFC

1-seed Baltimore Ravens

Dave: Ravens for 1
Matt: out
Niraj: 1.25
Dave: 1.5
Niraj: 2
Dave: 2.5
Niraj: out

2-seed Kansas City Chiefs

Dave: Chiefs for $5
Niraj: 5.5
Matt: 6
Dave: 7
Kirat: 6.15
Niraj: so much table talk
Mark: 6.5 on more of that loser money for the chiefs
Niraj: 6.6
Mark: 7.5
Dave: 7.75
Mark: 8
Kirat: 8.05
Dave: 8.25
Kirat: 8.3
Matt: otu
Dave: 8.5
Mark: 8.55
Kirat: 8.6
Dave: 8.8
Kirat: 8.85
Mark: 9
Kirat: out
Dave: 9.25
Mark: 9.3
Dave: 9.5
Mark: 9.95
Dave: 10 final offer
Mark: 10.05
Just want to see if you're a liar
Kirat: now thats table talk
Dave: well shit

3-seed New England Patriots

Kirat: patriots 6
Mark: 7
Kirat: 8
Dave: 8.5
Mark: 8.5
Kirat: 8.9
Mark: 9
Kirat: 9.5
Dave: mark you going costa rica?
Mark: thought about it, but nah

4-seed Houston Texans

Matt: Texans .1
Mark: .55
Matt: .6
Dave: 2
Kirat has left.
Niraj: 2.5
Dave: 3
Matt: 3.1
Dave: 3.5
Matt: 3.6
Niraj: 3.75
Dave: 4
Matt: 4.1
Dave: out
Niraj: 4.25
Matt: 4.5
Niraj: 4.75
Matt: 5
Niraj: 5.25
Matt: 5.3
Niraj: 5.5
Matt: 5.7
Niraj: out
Dave: wowza

5-seed Buffalo Bills

Dave: .6 on bills
Matt: 1
Mark: what an asshole, right burnsy?
Dave: 1.4
Niraj: seriously

6-seed Tennessee Titans

Mark: titans for .55
Dave: .60
Niraj: 1
Mark: am i going to get to use my money?
Dave: haha
Dave: 1.25
Niraj: 1.5
Dave: out

Loser Money Winner: Cincinnati Bengals

Mark: bengals for .55
Dave: .6
Dave: matt?
Matt: nope


NFC

1-seed San Francisco 49ers

Mark: lets stay in the area. 49ers for .55
Matt: Burfict will spear Mahomes and concus him
Dave: .60
Dave: going?
Dave: gone

2-seed Green Bay Packers

Niraj: Packers 1
Matt: out
Mark: you're not letting me play
Dave: 2
Niraj: 2.5
Dave: 3
Niraj: 3.5
Dave: 4
Niraj: 5
Dave: yours

3-seed New Orleans Saints

Matt: Saints .5
Mark: the patriots are done. the jets are winning the division
Niraj: 2
Kirat: 5
Dave: 6
Niraj: 6.5
Kirat: 6.6
Dave: 7
Niraj: 7.25
Kirat: 7.4
Dave: 7.5
Kirat: 7.7
Dave: 8
Niraj: 8.5
Kirat: 9
Dave: goddamn

4-seed Philadelphia Eagles

Mark: eagles for .55
Dave: 1
Matt: 1.1
Niraj: And I hate the fuckin' Eagles, man
Dave: 1.5
Niraj: 1.6
Dave: 2
Niraj: 2.5
Dave: 3
Niraj: 3.5
Dave: 4
Niraj: 4.5
Dave: 5
Niraj: 5.5
Dave: 7
Niraj: hey-o! out
Matt: All this for the eagles?
Dave: gone
Kirat: wow
Matt: Carson Wentz will play +/- 8 games?

5-seed Seattle Seahawks

Kirat: seahawks 1.5
Dave: 1.55
Kirat: out
Niraj: 1.6
Dave: 2
Niraj: 2.25
Dave: out

6-seed Minnesota Vikings

Kirat: is fym saving $ for 2021?
Niraj: lol
Niraj: Vikings 0.5
Dave: we haven't gotten to the good teams yet
Kirat: true.
Niraj: saving for the Dolphins
Mark: .55
Niraj: use $20 to win 3
Dave: 1
Mark: out
Niraj: 1.5
Dave: 1.75
Niraj: out
Dave: going
Dave: gone
Dave: matt you there?
Niraj: is matt there?
Niraj: probably fell asleep eating cheese

Other Highlights from the Auction

Kirat: dolphins .95
Niraj: 1
Dave: WOW
Kirat: this loser $ is a great call Fym
Niraj: booyah, 300% return

Matt: Dolphins .6
Dave: no
Dave: broncos and bucs
Matt: do i get the dolphins or no?
Dave: Matt you have to pick Broncos or Bucs
Dave: Burnsy owns the Dolphins
Mark: burnsy already bought them
Niraj: Dolphins were long gone
Matt: shit
Niraj: lolol
Matt: I give so few fucks

Niraj: gotta add more rows for Dave's penny stocks ;P

Mark: always go for the big dicks. trust me

Calcutta Update

2019 NFL Sportsbook Recap: Part One

Back in August I published my NFL Futures bets. Here's how I did.


I started with 10,000. Can I turn a profit?

2000 on Chiefs to win division at -150 WIN. PAYOUT = $3334 (includes original 2000 staked)
1000 on Ravens to win division at +300 WIN. PAYOUT = $4000
800 on Colts to win division at +500 LOSS.
200 on Bills to win division at +950 LOSS.
1000 on Eagles to win division at -110 WIN. PAYOUT = $1909
1500 on Patriots to make the Super Bowl at +325 ?????????????
1500 on Chiefs to make the Super Bowl at +350 ?????????????
1000 on Mahomes over 4650 passing yards at -110 LOSS.
800 on Chiefs over 10.5 wins at -110 WIN. PAYOUT = $1527.20
200 on Chiefs to win Super Bowl at +800 ?????????????

Current Total: 10,770

I've already turned a profit. If Pats or Chiefs make the Super Bowl, it will go up by at least 6000.

Ravens was a great pick at +300. Should have jumped off the Colts after Luck retired. Bills won double digit games and it's still a loss. Mahomes would have gone over if he hadn't gotten injured, but that's baked into the bet.

Another good year, with a chance to make it really good.

Holiday Break Gaming

We went from 1 PS4 controller to 4 of them. So that's opened up a whole world of split-screen and co-op gaming. Here are the highlights.

Hitman 2 100%

I got Hitman 2 in January. And basically it was the only game that I played all year. The best gaming experience of my life.

Mahomes Good

Average QB in 2019, Revisited

3 weeks into the season, I looked at what it means to be an average quarterback in 2019.

Now that the regular season is essentially complete, it's time to look back and see what we can learn.

First let's see the current 2019 passing stats:

ANY/A

Passer Rating

By ANY/A the 5 most average QBs of 2019 are:
Goff
Keenum
Brady
Wentz
Winston

By Passer Rating the 5 most average QBs of 2019 are:
Ryan
Minshew
Rivers
Brissett
Jones

No overlap of our two metrics. Hmmm.

By combining metrics, the two most average passers this year were Brady and Ryan.

Three weeks in, I had identified Ryan, Bridgewater and Dalton. Here's how they ended up in both metrics, out of 32/33 guys:

Ryan: 20th and 15th
Bridgewater: did not qualify but finished with a 6.67 ANY/A (12th place) and 98.9 rating (11th place)
Dalton: 29th and 32nd

So Ryan stayed average all year.
Dalton plummeted.
And Bridgewater improved, albeit in a small sample size.

- - -

The original question was about Jacoby Brissett and although he started the season above average, he finished below average.

- - -

One note, that we could have predicted. The average ANY/A and Passer Rating went down slightly comparing a full season to just the first three weeks. The extreme highs came back to earth and the extreme lows became more respectable. Smaller sample size allows for more extremes.

- - -

Worth noting the 2018 leader in ANY/A: Patrick Mahomes
The current 2019 leader in ANY/A: Patrick Mahomes

Last year he attempted 580 passes. This year, he missed time due to injury and has attempted 459 with one regular season game to go.

2018: 5097 yards, 50 touchdowns, 12 int (2.1% int rate), rating 113.8, ANY/A 8.89
2019: 3857 yards, 25 touchdowns, 4 int (.9 % int rate), rating 106.6, ANY/A 8.51

Got injured, touchdowns number came down, but also improved on interceptions. Still the best passer in the league by ANY/A for both seasons he's played.

Fastest QB to 9,000 passing yards.
Fastest QB to 75 touchdowns.

It's only two seasons, but he'll have a shot at the all-time records.

The Best Seasonal Foods

Fall
Caramel Apples

Winter: Pre-Christmas
Peppermint Bark

Winter: Post-Christmas
Hickory Farms Summer Sausage

- - -

Where I live, they only sell caramel apples in the fall. This year, our family ate 50+.

As soon as peppermint bark appears in stores, I buy some for myself.

And then Christmas week, either I get Hickory Farms summer sausage as I gift...or I go out and buy it myself. I went to the mall in Denver the day or two after Christmas and the Hickory Farms kiosk was 60% off. Truly a reason to be thankful.

- - -

I thought about hot dogs and beer or grilled burgers for the summer, but you can get those year-round. The three foods above, you literally can't get them any other time. Same for wings and tacos.

Maybe the only other thing would be Reese's trees/eggs/pumpkins, but I don't think they make the same list up top.

What other seasonal foods am I missing?

The Broncos Magic Trick

THE PLEDGE

THE TURN

THE PRESTIGE

I wasn't sure how the Broncos were going to shake up a division that already crowned its winner, but this ain't it Chief. Maybe should have kept that if in there, huh?

Cast Iron Jerk Chicken

Nostalgia is a tough thing to chase. And yet here I am.

The summer before I started college, my friends and I took a trip to Jamaica. A week in an island paradise to swim and listen to music and hang out. I wrote a short story that blatantly ripped off Fight Club even though I wouldn't recognize it for a while. But the thing that stuck with me the most has to be the food.

Foods that I tried for the first time and have never been able to relive the tastes since. Rice and peas, which are really beans. Fried plantains, which aren't deep-fried. Beef patties, which are empanada-like. And the crown jewel, jerk chicken.

That week I had jerk chicken at least three times from different vendors in the area. I remember one was very reminiscent of barbecue chicken, and another that was very different, unlike anything I'd had before. But they were all delicious.

Over the last 18 years, I've tried various Jamaican restaurants trying to experience those flavors again. Here's a typical result.

Since I've been on a cast-iron kick and getting more confident in the kitchen, I thought it was time to attempt my own jerk chicken.

(My junior year of college, I hosted a Jamaican dinner for friends. Jerk chicken and jerky potatoes for vegetarians were on the menu, but I just used a store bought sauce. A college-budget approximation of the dish.)

I knew my technique would be to use skin-on, bone-in chicken thighs like I did in this recipe. Get the skin perfect, flip and finish cooking the meat through in the oven.

So the question was how do I make the sauce?

I found four that looked good: Caribbean Pot, Bon Appetit, Food and Wine, and Spruce Eats.

One of the first things that I did was compare all the ingredients to understand what "jerk" really means. The common elements seemed to be allspice, thyme, scotch bonnet peppers, scallions.

I decided on Caribbean Pot, because it seemed likely to me that it was the most authentic. But then I figured it wouldn't be that much harder to make 2 marinades because they overlap ingredients. Based on looks, I picked the Spruce Eats recipe as well.

The snag I ran into is that I couldn't find scotch bonnets in Overland Park. I went to three stores and called a fourth. The fourth said he tried to order some but they were out of stock. So maybe I'll have access to them one day. The habanero is the closest so I brought those home.

So I made two batches of marinade in my food processor. In all pictures, the Caribbean Pot recipe is on the left, Spruce Eats on the right. Two chicken thighs in each bag.

Despite sharing most ingredients, they looked quite a bit different. The left one has half a cup of orange juice and half an onion. It was quite liquidy and made about twice as much. The one on the right was more of a paste and obviously much darker. Here's the phase cooking skin down.

Once I got the color I wanted on the skin, I flipped them...

and added the remaining marinade to each batch.

Then the pan went in a 425-degree oven for 15-20 minutes.

Here's the finished product. It looks really dark, but it didn't taste burnt. The marinades have brown sugar in them so they definitely caramelized and got a nice dark bark.

I even took a bonus shot of one cut open so you can see how juicy the meat is.

Both turned out very tasty. But it was easy to pick a winner in my mind. Once I saw the colors of the marinades, I though the Spruce Eats one looked like the right dark color. I kept an open mind and in the end, the colors of the final product were pretty similar. But the Spruce Eats one tasted better.

Here's the winning recipe in case Hoagie Central outlives the Spruce Eats.

First, the alterations I made. I threw in maybe a teaspoon of whole allspice berries, plus maybe a teaspoon more of ground allspice. Definitely not half a cup, because that seemed like a crazy amount. I used 2 whole habanero instead of the scotch bonnets. I used 5 whole sprigs of fresh thyme. I used 5 scallions instead of 2 bunches. I used 2 tsp salt and 1/2 tsp black pepper. And I used 2 packets of soy sauce since I don't actually pay for soy sauce.

I think the main reason this one was better is for what it didn't have in it. No orange juice, oil, vinegar or onion. So the result was a much more compact paste. In essence, it didn't get diluted with liquids or vegetables like the other one. More concentrated. Perhaps the only ingredient that I like from the other one that I could add to this one is the fresh ginger. But it's not like I could taste it or its absence from this test.

Also, the whole allspice berries did not get crushed in my food processor, so if I'm going to used those again, I feel like I should make sure they get crushed.

This recipe calls for 8 tablespoons of allspice, which is like a whole jar. I think 2 tablespoons would be plenty.


- - -

Now the big question. Did it taste like I remembered? To be honest, even before I made it, I couldn't remember what the Jamaican ones tasted like. It's been 18 years. Biting into didn't take me back to that week, but I don't know that if was in Jamaica today that it would bring back those memories.

Or maybe if I had the scotch bonnets, it would have.

Or maybe it needs to be smoked over pimento wood.

I made a really good Jerk Chicken today. At this point, I either have to be okay with that or travel to Jamaica and test how fragile memories can be.

Chiefs Win in Gillette: The Best A Fan Can Get

So Spags really is the Patriot killer after all.

Last year Mahomes put up 40 in Foxboro and lost. Then in the AFC Championship he put up 31 and lost. This year the Chiefs defense held the Patriots to 16 points. Mahomes got to shake Brady's hand for the first time as a winner. And then the Chiefs got to celebrate their division title in the Patriots locker room. That's a fun flight home.

- - -

By the way, that's 4 straight AFC West Titles. Before this streak, the Chiefs had never won the division in back to back years.

Andy Reid inherited a 2-14 team that was in complete disarray. The next year he went 11-5.

7 seasons with Reid. 7 with a winning record.

He won the division twice with Alex Smith and now twice with Mahomes.

The last time the Raiders won the division was 2002. If you're a 21-year-old Raiders fan you have no memories of ever winning the division, but you've seen Big Red win it four in a row.

- - -

This game played out very similar to last week's Patriot loss. They dig themselves a huge first half hole and in the second half come close to coming all the way back. But the early deficit was too big. The Patriot home crowd was booing their own team down 20-7 in the first half.

So clearly the story here is how the Chiefs went in to Foxboro and won, shifting the balance of power in the AFC and setting up some intriguing playoff games. No?

Ah, the Patriots got robbed! The Refs stole two touchdowns.

It's really tempting to just ignore it completely. But I'm game. I'll take the bait.

On the Kelce fumble, the Patriots do get the ball but weren't given the chance to return it. It wasn't going to be a touchdown as the Chiefs had 3 players back, but it cost the Pats about 20-25 yards of field position. Just a bit more than the Patriots benefited from after they shoved Mahomes out of bounds into a Gatorade cooler and no personal foul was called.

Then ensuing drive a Patriot appeared to score but was called out of bounds at the three. Upon slow-motion replay, you could tell the runner stayed in bounds. However, Belichick had already used his challenges. So the result of the play was (checks notes) 1st and Goal from the 3.

There's a case to be made that in the 3rd quarter of a close game, some coaches might not even challenge there because you might want to save the challenge for the 4th quarter, if you're wrong you lose another timeout, and you have 1st and Goal from the 3. (Sure, I'd challenge. But that's why you don't challenge a 1st down spot early in the 3rd quarter that rarely gets overturned.)

The Patriots end up kicking a field goal.

So what are people saying?

Ah yes, the Patriots missed out on two touchdowns. In a game where they lost by 7. What injustice!

But let's think about this. The fumble was on the drive preceding the bad pylon call. So if the Patriots did scoop and score that, they wouldn't have had the chance for the pylon score. If the pylon score was called correctly, the Pats would have ended up with 7. Instead they got 3.

So all told, the calls affected the score by 4 points.

If it was Andy Reid that ran out of challenges, people would be blaming Reid. Classic Reid, can't manage the clock or his challenges!

- - -

The Chiefs were the better team yesterday and won the game. It's pretty likely that the Chiefs will have to go back to Foxboro in January and do it again.

- - -

In fact, it sure looks like Baltimore will be the #1 seed, the Patriots #2, and Chiefs the #3.

For the Chiefs to get the bye, we need to win out and have the Pats to lose to Bengals, Bills or Dolphins. Even if the Pats lose one, I could see the Chiefs blowing a fluky game.

As the #3 seed, the likely path would be:

home game vs Titans or Steelers, road game at Patriots, road game at Ravens

Not easy. That's why blowing that Titans game earlier was so big. If the Pats get the bye, they get two weeks to prepare for the Chiefs and get healthy. The next game won't be as easy as yesterday.

Cast-Iron Rolls

Saturday was a double bread in cast-iron kind of day. 

As I mentioned recently, this recipe is actually why I purchased this pan way back in 2010. And I think I made the rolls in it once and didn't use the pan again for 7 years. 

I figured since I use the pan so much now and our whole family loves the rolls so much, that I should go ahead and see what it's like when you combine them. 

I also was in the mood to mix things up. So I skipped the rosemary and instead made a cinnamon honey butter in the style of Texas Roadhouse to serve with it. 

I told Brit it was in the style of Texas Roadhouse, and the first thing she said just by looking at it, was that I needed to whip it. And sure enough, that's the one thing that I didn't do in the recipe. I just didn't feel like getting out the hand mixer so I just folded it together by hand. The result was a thicker texture, more buttery than airy. Tasted great.

The rolls turn out great, but this is the first recipe where you don't really need the cast-iron pan. Some people might live for the pull apart form factor, but I think the quality is about the same as a normal sheet pan. Just as well, because on holidays I make 36 on two cookie sheets and this pan only fits 12.

Kind of ironic that the one recipe I thought I needed this pan for is the one recipe I actually don't.

Cast-Iron Cornbread

This was my first time making cornbread. It wasn't that I really wanted cornbread, it's that I'm looking to make all the things in cast iron. And cornbread is definitely one of the cast iron bucket list items. 

I thought about Jalapeno Cheddar, but figured for the first go round I should keep it classic. 

This was the recipe I used. Even though it called for a 10-inch skillet, it filled my 12-inch perfectly. The only substitution I made was using milk instead of buttermilk. 

It came out very moist and delicious. It was a little too dark on bottom, so I could try preheating less or trying to remove it from the pan after baking. 

Still, a success and something that I would make again. 

For the honey butter, I just mashed three drizzles of honey into a softened stick of butter, one at a time, just eyeing it until it had the color and smell I wanted.

1 1/2 cups cornmeal

1 cup all-purpose flour

1/3 cup sugar

4 teaspoons baking powder

1 teaspoon kosher salt

2 cups buttermilk

1 large egg

6 tablespoons unsalted butter, melted and divided

DIRECTIONS:

Preheat oven to 425 degrees F. Place an oven-proof 10-inch cast iron skillet in the oven.

In a large bowl, combine cornmeal, flour, sugar, baking powder and salt.

In a large glass measuring cup or another bowl, whisk together buttermilk, egg and 3 tablespoons butter. Pour mixture over dry ingredients and stir using a rubber spatula just until moist.

Remove skillet from the oven and add remaining 3 tablespoons until heated through, about 1-2 minutes.

Working carefully, immediately scoop the batter into the hot skillet. Place into oven and bake for 25-30 minutes, or until a tester inserted in the center comes out clean. Let cool 5 minutes.

Serve warm.

So Sunday is kind of a big deal

I don't really want to call attention to it, but the Chiefs are 0-2 vs Patriots with Mahomes as QB. They play Sunday. And they might play again in a month.

Both games were close and came down to the wire.

This year we've got a new D Coordinator who famously shut down the Patriots offense in two Super Bowls (with the Giants). And we've got their Defensive Line coach who should know some of the Patriots secret sauce.

So with all that, I'd really love to see those coaches have an impact on this game. This isn't a playoff game—there will be time in January for that. But I don't really want Mahomes to be 0-3 vs Brady. Time to prove we're a SB contender for real and that there's another outcome besides a Ravens-Pats AFC Conference Championship.

Cast Iron Cookboy

My favorite pan is my cast iron skillet. 

But it wasn't always that way. After graduating college, I was watching a lot of Food Network and I picked up that the best alternative to grilling in an apartment is cast-iron grill pan. I also picked up that you wanted it "ripping hot." What I didn't pick up is how to season a pan, how to clean it, or crucially that you need some fat/oil/butter, that a pan can be too hot, and that you should't make your burgers monstrously thick and expect them to cook through just because the pan is hot. 

The first time I used it was NFL opening day in 2006. Here's what I wrote about that experience: 

I was trying out, for the first time, grilling a raw burger on my cast-iron grill pan. And I had the Chiefs game on Tivo. Well, my cast-iron pan burned the outside of the meat, and left the inside raw. Our apartment filled with smoke, and it was about the worst burger I've ever tried to eat. When the apartment got smoky, I paused the game. Then later, on fast forward I see that Trent Green just got knocked out. It was not a good day. And I haven't used the grill pan since. 

By summer 2010, that experience had scared me off of cast-iron. As I wrote back then, I thought that cast-iron was too much work. 

But in November 2010, I bought a cast-iron skillet specifically for this single recipe: Rosemary Rolls.* I got a Lodge 12-inch skillet on Amazon for 18.97. So I bought the pan for the rolls, made them once and then kinda forgot about it. The pan was heavy and I didn't understand the benefits. 

Then in fall of 2017, I had been seeing and hearing great things about Kenji's Cast Iron Pizza. It's called foolproof, so I figured I could handle it. It was great. And in the process, I realized how nice it is to be able to go from stovetop to oven and back to stovetop if necessary. Since I had been watching Babish make burgers in his cast-iron, I figured I could do that too. And since my grandpa used his cast-iron for the Aunt Gerties (the thin pancakes) I thought I should try it that way too. 

And just by cooking a few things I discovered the real benefit of cast-iron: food just tastes better.

So those experiences led me to the castiron subreddit, where I finally learned about how to season it properly. And then you see examples of other good food other people are making and you want to cook more stuff. So you cook more stuff and it tastes good and you want to cook more. 

Then I'm on the subreddit and seeing people post these vintage Griswold or Wagner pans they're finding at thrift shops and talking about how smooth and black their pans are. So then I'm browsing eBay for vintage cast-iron. Brit sees what I'm doing and says to me, "You know who has an old cast-iron pan? Us!"

And you know what, she was right. I should use the skillet that I have more often. So I did. 

And the more I used it, the more I loved it. And I stopped worrying about how smooth or black it is, because every time it cooks perfect food. 

And now I have a greater appreciation for the tangible benefits: 

• it puts a great crust on meat
• it's super easy to cook thicker pieces through in the oven 
• it's easy to control
• pretty easy to brown deeply without burning
• food just tastes better

So then when I see a viral tweet like this:

It's funny. I understand because I thought this way for most of my life. And yet now I just feel bad for the guy. 

Yeah, it's heavy. But it's surprisingly easy to clean. And this $20 pan is going to last my whole life, while "non-stick" pans wear out after a couple years. 

*Ironically, the rosemary rolls recipe would become a holiday staple forever, and yet we make batches of 36 on two sheet pans at Thanksgiving so I don't even use the cast-iron pan for these.