This is by far the best I've ever done in fantasy

I'm just going to save this for later

If Kansas City wins tonight, Kansas City wins tomorrow night.
If Kansas City loses tonight, Kansas City loses tomorrow night.

holy shit, is it 5775 already?

I can't find anything to post that is both Jewish and funny.

The Resurgence of Illinois Basketball

Illinois Basketball is on the rise. We're going to be good again.

This article shows us our 4-star recruits on the roster: Nunn, Colbert, Black, Williams, Jordan, Coleman.

And then you look down at this handy scholarship grid found here and you see all of them on the team in 2016-2017. 

This year we get to see Ahmad Starks, Michael Finke, and Leron Black for the first time. And then next year, three more awesome guys come on. I like this.

We're going to be good this year. And it should get better and better. I believe in Groce. I expect Illinois to go to the Final Four within the next five years.

Best Start Ever

This is the 6th year of Burnsy Sucks Fantasy Football on ESPN.com. Since I'm 3-0, I'd thought I'd look back at the previous five years and see my previous results.

2009: 0-3
2010: 2-1
2011: 2-1
2012: 0-3
2013: 2-1
2014: 3-0

I've never made the playoffs in the first five years of Burnsy Sucks. Will this year be the year?

(I did make the Super Bowl back in 2007 in Year One of our draft league, Construda)

- - -

Also, I wouldn't have gotten to 3-0 if Martellus Bennett hadn't been available on the waiver wire. I saw that Vernon Davis was doubtful and looked to pick up a TE.

In a league full of Bears fans, the 2nd best TE was sitting there having gone undrafted. He was drafted in the 9th round of my work league. (In my work league, I actually was targeting Bennett as the top TEs were off the board. But then Pitta was still there and ranked higher so I took him against my instinct.)

Anyways, Bennett came through for me and if Lacy can get going, I might actually make the playoffs.

2 games on the line

First up, in Burnsy Sucks, I'm only down 6.5 points with Martellus Bennett tonight. I had given up on this game and then the Panthers instead of scoring 8 or 10 points, put up a -4. I feel pretty good about this. Which means there's a 80% chance that Bennett puts up a 4.5.

In my work league I'm holding a 20 point lead against Forte AND Marshall. Yikes. Basically one touchdown for either guy and I'm done. Poop.

There's a ton--I mean, it's all I read--of Illini people talking about how the Big Ten is there for the taking. How the Big Ten is so down that this a great window for Illinois to make a move and get to a good bowl game and contend for the division.

Do they not see that Illinois sucks as much as everyone else in the Big Ten? The Big Ten is just as there for the taking as it is for Northwestern and Purdue and Illinois and none of them are going to contend for the division because they're all terrible.

Want to guess who's going against Julio Jones?

How To: Carbonara, Take Three

In the summer of 1999, my Dad and I took a road trip to the northeast. We met a family friend in Brooklyn who took us to an authentic Italian restaurant. I ordered fettucine carbonara. I was hooked. It took me three tries to figure out how to do it right at home.

Attempt #1.
Attempt #2.

I'm nearing the completion of a personal project, creating a cookbook. This is the last entree. And I finally figured out how to do it.

Ingredients

12 ounces angel hair pasta
8 pieces thick cut bacon, diced small
1/2 medium onion, diced
2 cloves garlic, minced
3 whole eggs
3/4 cup freshly grated parmesan
3/4 cup heavy cream
salt and lots of black pepper

Instructions

Dice the raw bacon and fry over medium heat until crisp. Remove from the pan, drain on paper towels, and season with pepper. Return the pan to the stove and throw in the onions and garlic. Cook until golden brown. Set aside. Drain but don't clean the pan.

Add the pasta to boiling water. Meanwhile, in a bowl, mix together eggs, Parmesan, cream, and salt and pepper until smooth. When the pasta is done, reserve a bit of the pasta water. Drain the pasta and place it in a bowl. While the pasta is still really hot, slowly drizzle in the egg mixture, stirring the pasta the whole time. The sauce will become thick and should coat the pasta. Splash in a little hot pasta water if needed for consistency (I didn't need to). Add to frying pan and stir briskly. Add the bacon, and sauteed onion/garlic.

The result is amazing. Cooking the onions and garlic in the bacon grease, and then finishing the whole pasta in the same pan gives it incredible flavor. And the ratio of egg and cream was perfect for me. (I know some people will say that cream has no place in a traditional carbonara. Okay. I guess this isn't traditional. But it's very, very good.)

Broncos beat Chiefs again, Peyton's Broncos 5-0 vs Chiefs

I don't even really care anymore. I was upset yesterday right when it happened. But eh, I expected the Broncos to win by 27.

I expected the Broncos to play much better, and the Chiefs to play much worse.

Yet that was a totally winnable game. It came down to just a few things. I'm just doing this from memory so it may not be accurate.

1. That punt. 4th and and a foot. It was only a 4 point game in the second quarter. Drive and take the lead. Or you punt and Peyton gets a touchdown.

2. That drive. Down 21-10, the Chiefs go on their longest (timewise) drive in 16 years. 10 minutes to open the 3rd quarter. They had a 1st and goal from the 4, I think. And got no points. I thought it was stupid to cut Succop to save money and it looks really stupid now.

3. That last drive. After not getting any points on drives 1 and 2 listed above, the Chiefs still had a 1st and goal with a chance to tie in the last two minutes. Again, couldn't get a touchdown when they needed it.

3 good chances, 0 points. In a 7-point game.

Grow Some Balls Andy Reid

Seriously? 4th and a foot at midfield. 2nd quarter only down four against Peyton Manning. And you just give them the ball? There are high school teams that go for it on 4th and 12 from their own 10 against Joe Schlub.

Broncos -12 is the biggest lock in history.

This Is Fun

Surprisingly, my work league is actually really exciting. The ability to talk trash in person is an added element. Also my team is better and I have a realistic shot of winning it all.

Another Shitty Year for the Chiefs.

God, the Chiefs are shit. Awful.

Feels like 2011 where they started 0-3 the year after making the playoffs. Two defensive starters lost for the year already.

3rd place in the AFC West is the ceiling. Last place likely. Chiefs-Raiders games will be brutal to watch.

3-13 or 4-12 is in play.

Is it Avalanche season yet?

Lunt for Heisman

Man, Illinois is shitty. We've almost lost to a FCS team and WKU. But at least we covered the spread this week. And we're at the top of the conference and Northwestern is at the bottom.

4-8 is in play!

Football Predictions

Illinois Football
2-2 non-conference
1-7 in the Big Ten
3-9 overall

Chiefs Football
6-10