The latest dispatch out of our Hoagie Middle East division:
Long suffering Lions fan here. Born in 1983, I literally have no memory of a Lions playoff win. I remember Barry Sanders, juking defenders and scoring with ease until the playoffs. The defense would just put eight defenders in the box and our QB could never threaten with a passing game. After Barry retired out of the blue, the Lions were irrelevant. We’d always take WRs in the top 10 and only one panned out, but then he retired early too. The Lions had a way of taking the will to compete out of their best players.
At least in college I started getting into fantasy football. That really saved the NFL for me. Even from the beginning of the season, until this year, I was more invested in bragging rights over my friends than in the Lions success. Because at least I had a chance at winning.
We’ve had the 0-16 season, Dan Orlovsky’s safety, and Matt Patricia’s coming out party as one of the great kisses of death in the last 10 years. Aside from some great Megatron catches, I have no good Lions memories since Barry Sanders running through my childhood.
So when Dan Campbell got hired by Brad Holmes, it was just another coach/GM combo that had promise and was going to fail. Campbell immediately made headlines about biting people’s kneecaps and we were still jokes. Lots of losing in the first season and a half. The Lions were still the same old Lions. We’re so sad that a majority of fans were happy to trade away Stafford and continued to root for him to win because he didn’t shit on Detroit and the fans. He played through injuries when he could have quit on us too.
But then we started winning and players seemed happy to play for Detroit. I have one Lions t-shirt, a retro style one, that I would often wear on Sundays. It did NOT bring us luck. But I persevered. After getting trashed for a bad first round, taking an inside LB and a RB, players that you can usually get for cheap, I figured it’s the same old Lions. But then the Lions were a trendy favorite, which just made me worry more. It hurts more to have your hopes dashed than have no hopes at all. But we were good throughout the year, although the pass defense faltered in the second half.
I have a text chain with my dad (the original Lions fan) and my little brother (who smartly dumped the Lions for the Bears when he was a kid, since we lived in southern Illinois and the Rams were in LA). When the Lions would blow a game, I’d always write something like, “The Lions really Lion-ed that game” and my dad would respond that at least he made money. He always bets against the Lions.
The refs jobbed us of a win in Dallas which would have given us a chance at the 1-seed or at least the 2-seed, giving us a better chance at hosting two playoff games, should we win. Instead, we ended up 3, hosting the Rams and Matt Stafford, one of the hottest teams entering the playoffs. Despite being favored, I was skeptical. They’re McVay is going to destroy our defense. Goff sometimes makes terrible decisions, even though he’s been pretty good.
With the game being Sunday night, and the fact that I live in Israel, it meant I would not watch the game live. I woke up Monday, did not look at my phone at all, took my daughters to kindergarten, and came home to watch the game. Luckily, I don’t need to leave for work till 9:45. I called them Schrodinger’s Lions. I didn’t know if the Lions were dead or alive inside that box. I pay $200 annually for the complete NFL streaming package. Red zone channel, regular season, playoffs, games without commercials, highlights, but what I like most about night games is that I can watch the “game in 40”, the game without all of the commercials and time in between plays. I can watch a full game in about 40 minutes. Perfect.
Lions score first, hold the Rams to a FG, and then score another TD. We’re up 14-3 and I relax, thinking this is like the Chiefs win where they go up a few scores and never feel threatened all game. The Lions can’t let me relax for long, though. The Rams scored after every one of our scores it seemed like. Most of the game the Lions managed to push it back to a two-score lead, until the second half, I think. It’s kind of a blur. The Lions couldn’t move the ball. The Rams weren’t doing much either, except Puka Nacua couldn’t be tackled. Finally, the Rams had the ball and a chance to take the lead, but they didn’t. And then we couldn’t score. And then the Rams had another chance to take the lead, but just settled for a FG. The Lions just could never stretch the lead again late in the game. The Lions were going to Lion again. But Amon-Ra St. Brown, the guy who has been clutch all year, came through at the right times. When we got the ball back with four or five minutes left, the Rams with one TO, it was like we’d run, run, pass for a 1st down and repeat. The clock just kept ticking and we moved the chains just enough.
When the Sun God caught the ball for the last first down, after the two-minute time out, I put both fists in the air in victory formation. The seal had been broken. The Cowboys got humiliated at home, meaning we host the winner of the Bucs-Eagles, neither of which seem as scary as going to Dallas. Who would have thought that Detroit could host two playoff games in the same year? Somehow we didn’t embarrass ourselves on national television, like we do every year on Thanksgiving.
I slept in my Lions shirt that night the Lions were playing. Now I’ll wear it again Sunday. Maybe it’ll turn into a lucky shirt. Stranger things have happened. Maybe the Packers continue their hot streak and beat the 49ers, while we beat the Bucs. Maybe the Lions could host three playoff games in the same season?
Lions-Bucs game is at 10pm local time. I’ll watch live. There’s a part of me that just wants to focus on the game, not have to stress during time outs, commercial breaks, and halftime. There’s a part that liked Schrodinger’s Lions and being in my own bubble. Now I have to experience the game with the rest of the world, checking Twitter to see if others think the refs screwed up the call and texting friends and family. But at least I get to see another Lions playoff game. If we lose, as favorites at home, I’ll be disappointed. I’ll only accept a loss to the 49ers or to a team from the AFC. But at least now I’ve got the memory of us winning a playoff game.
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