Two years running I've picked both Super Bowl teams correctly! If you ignore the part where I got the winners wrong, it's very impressive!
Saturday, August 30, 2025
2025 NFL Preview
Two years running I've picked both Super Bowl teams correctly! If you ignore the part where I got the winners wrong, it's very impressive!
Saturday, August 31, 2024
2024 NFL Preview
Saturday, September 02, 2023
2023 NFL Preview
Saturday, September 03, 2022
2022 NFL Preview
Tuesday, September 07, 2021
2021 NFL Preview
Sunday, September 06, 2020
2020 NFL Preview
It's Labor Day Weekend so a totally normal NFL season must be around the corner. What's that? There was no preseason? Some teams are going to have no fans and some are barely going to have any? And that's unrelated to the LA Chargers? And the Kansas City Chiefs are the defending Super Bowl Champions?
Not sure which is the craziest part.
- - -
AFC West
It's tough to repeat as Super Bowl winners but KC only got stronger and would be a big disappointment if they didn't win the division. It doesn't seem like Herbert is going to start for the Chargers, so while they have talent, I'm picking the Broncos to finish 2nd here. Raiders will have their moments and while they make sense as a last place team, I'm going to go out on a limb to pick Chargers to fall to last. They'll be good once Herbert is good, but that's not this year.
AFC North
The Ravens will be out for blood after being the #1 team in the AFC and being one and done in the playoffs. Burrow will lift the Bengals but not enough. I think Big Ben is too old and the Browns will be mediocre too. Ravens 1st, Steelers 2nd, Browns 3rd, Bengals 4th.
AFC East
Brady is gone and so is half their defense. This is the Bills year, right? I mean, sure I'll pick them 1st, but with Patriots close behind. Dolphins 3rd, Jets last.
AFC South
The Titans made it to the AFC Championship game but I think the Texans put it together this year. Jags last. Titans 3rd. Colts 2nd. Texans 1st.
NFC West
Seattle reminded me that they're going to be good as long as they have Wilson. 49ers hangover will be tough. Rams were good, can they bounce back? Cardinal still probably some years away. Seahawks 1st, Rams 2nd, 49ers 3rd, Cardinals 4th.
NFC North
Seems like I never get this division right. Every time I don't pick the Packers, they win the division. Every time I do, they falter. Whatever. Packers, Vikings and Bears should all be in contention at some point. I'll trust the Bears to get it together. Packers 1st, Bears 2nd, Vikings 3rd.
NFC East
I still think Washington and Giants are far away. This year, I'll trust Dak and the Cowboys to make Jerry pay over the Eagles and injury prone Wentz. Cowboys 1st, Eagles 2nd, Giants 3rd, Wash 4th.
NFC South
The Saints have one more ride in them. The Bucs will be spicy, but not enough. Brady is old and he's not in the AFC East anymore. Saints 1st, Bucs 2nd, Falcons 3rd, Panthers 4th.
AFC Playoff Predictions
1 Chiefs
2 Ravens
3 Texans
4 Bills
5 Patriots
6 Colts
NFC Playoff Predictions
1 Seahawks
2 Saints
3 Packers
4 Cowboys
5 Bucs
6 Rams
Super Bowl LV
Chiefs over Saints
Tuesday, August 27, 2019
2019 NFL Preview
(I wrote this last week before Luck's retirement. I will leave what I had intact and add edits.)
AFC West
The Chiefs have won the division 3 years running. Last year, Mahomes was the MVP of the league in his first year starting. This is a Super Bowl caliber team. But if I was a Chargers fan and this blog was called Fish Taco Central, what would be the argument for LA? Well, the Chargers and Chiefs had the same record last year and beat the Chiefs in Arrowhead. The Chiefs have turnover on the defensive side, while the Chargers...I just can't do it anymore. The Chargers have the worst injury luck in the league and it's already started with Derwin James this year. Melvin Gordon is holding out. They don't have a home field advantage. They printed shirts for beating the Chiefs and they are 1-9 against KC over the last five years. Writers are assuming regression for Mahomes but I think the Chargers are a more likely regression candidate. They've got 9-7 written all over them. The Broncos will be a competitive 6-10 or 7-9 and the Raiders will fade out of Oakland in last place. Earlier this year I thought that a team can't suck so bad with a star like Antonio Brown...and this whole offseason is showing me that Brown and the Raiders are a match made in heaven. This has to be the easiest division in football to predict the order of finish. Chiefs have a tough schedule and might go 11-5 or 12-4 again, but I see them winning the division for the 4th straight time.
Division Winner: Chiefs
AFC East
Let's jump over to the Super Bowl Champs. This division is kind of the same story as last year right? Patriots are just miles ahead of the other teams. Everyone thinks the Dolphins are the worst team in football. I'm not convinced in Darnold/Bell/Gase but they should be better than last year's 4-12 finish. So the Bills are the only hope to end the Pats' AFC East reign. They should be decent, in contention for a wild-card spot. Allen's improvement plus a good defense feels like 9-7 might be in the cards. But the Pats win again. Now one of these years, Brady has to feel the effects of his age. I know I sound like cloud yelling at old man, but it's happened to Manning and Favre and every other player in the history of sports so I don't really see why it will never happen to him. Besides TB12, of course. Like, it's not unreasonable to think that he could get injured this year. But anyways, even without Gronk they'll still win the division and probably get home-field too.
Division Winner: Patriots
AFC South
I've said it ten times by now, but I think Watson vs Mahomes is the next Brady vs Manning. But the Texans don't instill a lot of confidence with their coaching and offensive line. The Jags are about to learn that Nick Foles magic only works when you put him in late in the season, not start the season with him. Seems like this is the last year of Mariota for the Titans. Meanwhile, the Colts are building an awesome team and have Andrew Luck healthy...what's that...Luck is hurt again and may not be ready for week one. Just when it seems clear to pick the Colts to win the division, you don't know what to make of Luck's health. Well, there were injury concerns heading into last year and he was fine so I'm going to assume the same for this year. I'm holding onto all of my Deshaun Watson stock and so I think the Texans are a wild-card team.
Division Winner: Colts
Post-Luck-Retirement Update: Well, shit. Without Luck, it's really hard to pick the Colts here. But I didn't trust the Texans 100%. So is there a chance for Titans to rise up and surprise? Or will the Colts luck into their next great QB? What the hell, I'll trust the Colts system and roster and keep this as-is.
AFC North
The Bengals suck. So you've got the confident, new look Browns with Mayfield to Beckham...the run-first Ravens with Lamar Jackson trying to scramble on every play...and the Steelers without Bell and Brown, but they still have old Big Ben. The Steelers are still well coached and Juju is a fine #1. These three teams could finish in any order and it wouldn't surprise me. I'll guess Ravens 10-6 and Steelers and Browns both 9-7, but I'm not remotely confident in that. The Bengals suck.
Division Winner: Ravens
NFC West
The Rams still seem to be the class of the division...except I'm not 100% sold on Goff and I'm wary of a Super Bowl hangover. The Seahawks will be good but not great. And the Cardinals have a new coach and a new QB. There will be flashes, but seems like a 4 or 5 win team. That leaves us with the 49ers. Last year Garoppolo got hurt in Week 3. So we don't really know what he's capable of yet. I'm thinking Cardinals finish 4th and 49ers 3rd. The Rams seem to have too much talent to not win, despite a potential hangover.
Division Winner: Rams
NFC East
So let's see the Giants sucked last year, lost Beckham, and are still starting Eli in week one before eventually handing over the reigns to a noodle-arm. Why aren't they the worst team in football again? Washington is going with a rookie QB which is the right move but seems like a five win team. So it's really down to the Cowboys or Eagles. Which for me is a question of can Wentz stay healthy for a full year. I don't actually think he can, but I'm still picking the Eagles. He's gotta play most of the games and the Cowboys aren't that good (especially with all the contract stuff) to win back to back division titles.
Division Winner: Eagles
NFC South
The Saints have been a Super Bowl caliber team two years in a row and came up short of the game. They still seem like the cream of the crop. None of the other teams had winning records last year, but someone will rise up to contend. The Panthers have a history of being flip-floppy so it wouldn't surprise me if they get back to their 2017 11-win total, while the Falcons still haven't recovered from 28-3. So I'm going Saints, Panthers, Falcons, Bucs.
Division Winner: Saints
NFC North
My perception of a team is always dominated by the quarterback. So every year that the Packers have been mediocre, I'm always shocked. Turns out there's more to a team than a QB. Three teams have a decent chance to fight for the division. The Bears were great last year but apparently are still haunted by the double doink. I don't believe in Cousins but I do believe in Thielen. I'm always tempted to pick the Packers but that hasn't worked out for me lately. And the Vikings are great at shitting the bed. So I guess I'm going to trust in the Bears defense and assume that Coach Nagy really isn't going to let one missed field goal destroy his entire 2019 season even though that's exactly what I actually think is going to happen.
Division Winner: Bears
- - -
AFC Playoff Predictions
1 Patriots
2 Chiefs
3 Colts
4 Ravens
5 Browns
6 Texans
Post-Luck-Retirement Update: I'll move the Ravens up to the 3rd seed and drop the Colts to the 4th seed.
NFC Playoff Predictions
1 Saints
2 Eagles
3 Bears
4 Rams
5 Seahawks
6 Packers
- - -
Super Bowl LIV
Chiefs over Saints
Wednesday, August 29, 2018
2018 NFL Preview
AFC South
Andrew Luck is back! Or at least Andrew Luck is back. Andrew Luck is back? We'll see. After an off-season of reports that had him not permitted to throw a regulation size ball, all eyes are on him. He seemed destined to be the new Manning or Rodgers at one point, but now it's unclear who he is. If he is that type of ELITE QB, then we should be seeing it on the field. Likewise for the Texans, Deshaun Watson is back. Last year he was the most electrifying player and story and it seemed like the Texans were headed for playoff success. An injury derailed that and now we're waiting to see if he can recapture that glory. The Titans ended up winning a playoff game (can't remember how that happened) and then immediately fired their Head Coach. Teams don't usually fire their head coach after winning their first playoff game in 14 years. But hey, their new coach Vrabel is running wind sprints so they should be in good hands. Mariota has a little bit of the Luck thing too...if he's great, shouldn't we be seeing it by now? And then there's the Jaguars. They were a play or two away from the Super Bowl. Last year they had the defense, Fournette and Bortles came through in the clutch. Was it a fluke? (I think so.) I bet the defense regresses, Bortles struggles, and Fournette is still awesome—he can carry the ball but can't carry a team.
Division Winner Prediction: Texans
AFC West
The Patrick Mahomes era is upon us. On paper, it's the best offense since the 2011 Eagles Dream Team. The potential for the offense is seriously high and this is assuming that Mahomes is the savior we think he is. There will be struggles and the question is will the highs overcome the lows? Also, the defense will be likely bad, possibly terrible. I'm saying take the over every Chiefs game. The Chargers are getting hyped up like they are every year but they lose more players to injury than any other. Something in the ocean? They could win the division at 9-7 but I wouldn't bet on it. Denver seems lost. Case Keenum will need a whole lot of Mile High Miracles to save this team. And the Raiders? Their Vegas stadium is set to open in 2020, so this probably isn't their last Oakland season, but you never know. Maybe they'll play 2019 in Reno. They got Gruden coaching who will likely be out of touch. None of these teams figure to be that great, so I'll stick with the winner the last two years.
Division Winner Prediction: Chiefs
The Browns have been grabbing players and they've entrusted Baker Mayfield to be the quarterback of the future. They'll be bad again this year, but one day, they might possibly eke out a winning record in our lifetimes...maybe. The Bengals and Ravens are both boring. They occasionally put a good year together but otherwise just kinda lay there. I trust the Ravens to surprise more than the Bengals. But this division still belongs to the Steelers. This is their last year with Bell and it shouldn't be too hard to win this division again.
Division Winner Prediction: Steelers
NFC South
On the receiving end of the Minnesota Miracle is the Saints. Brees is still great, Kamara is great, they still have a top coach. The Saints were as close as you can get to the NFC Championship and still have a few more years of Brees. Time to make the most of it. The Falcons are solid and trying to return to their 2016 highs. A lot of the same players could make this interesting. Neither the Bucs nor Winston are good. In a weaker division they might have a chance, but this is a tough hill to climb. Did you remember that the Panthers won 11 games last year? I didn't. Seems like this will be a dogfight between the Saints and the Falcons and we now know the Falcons stance on dogfighting.
Division Winner Prediction: Saints
NFC West
Goff, Gurley, Cooks, Donald, Suh, Peters, Talib, McVay. If you can build teams on paper, the Rams have already won the Super Bowl. Should be the most interesting team to watch and see if the talent coalesces or blows up. Also in the division: Jimmy G. The biggest investment questionmark ever. Is he the next Tom Brady? This is our first chance to see for real. The Seahawks used to be good, but now they don't have a Legion of Boom. Can Pete Carrol form a new identity. And the Cardinals will valiantly claim fourth place with Bradford and Rosen. Desert football! Fitzgerald is still playing, that's something. Really should have won that Super Bowl with Warner, would have been nice. As for who wins this, do you trust a dream team or a the dreamy QB? I'll go with the team in the division, not necessarily in the playoffs.
Division Winner Prediction: Rams
NFC East
Philly Philly won the Super Bowl with Foles and Wentz is better so when they get Wentz back they'll win 2 Super Bowls. Right? Isn't that how this works? The Eagles were special and should be good again, but it's hard to repeat. The Giants are putting all their money on Odell, their top pick on Barkley, and trusting Manning for one last ride. Seems like they could maybe get to 9 or 10 but will likely be mediocre. (Barkley is awesome though.) Washington went from Cousins to Smith in the most lateral move possible. And the Cowboys have moved on from Dez Bryant who used to be a top 10 receiver and is now in street clothes. It wouldn't surprise me if any of these teams come in 1st or 4th in the division. Because of the hangover effect, I'm giving a slight nod to Dallas over Philly.
Division Winner Prediction: Cowboys
NFC North
During the entire Rodgers-Brady era, I thought the safest preseason Super Bowl pick was always Packers-Patriots. The Packers have gone to exactly 1 Super Bowl since drafting Aaron Rodgers in 2005. If your team had Rodgers, I think you'd expect more. Trubisky & Nagy sound like Chicago cops. I wasn't super impressed with their strategy of not letting Trubisky throw the ball last year but what do I know. The Lions have brought in Matt Patricia from the Belichick coaching tree. Unfortunately, it seems like that coaching tree doesn't bear fruit. And then there's the Vikings who had 3 quarterbacks which really meant they had 0, so they went all in on Cousins for a fully guaranteed contract. The good news for them is career-ending injuries on their practice turf are virtually unheard of. Bears last. Lions third. Vikings and Packers down to the wire. Because I'm an idiot who never learns I will stick with Green Bay.
Division Winner Prediction: Packers
- - -
AFC Playoff Predictions
1 Steelers
2 Patriots
3 Texans
4 Chiefs
5 Jaguars
6 Raiders
NFC Playoff Predictions
1 Packers
2 Rams
3 Saints
4 Cowboys
5 Falcons
6 Vikings
- - -
Super Bowl LIII
Steelers over Saints
Friday, September 08, 2017
NFL Season Kickoff
But all of that seems like a lot of work right now.
Let's do an abbreviated predictions:
AFC
1 Patriots
2 Chiefs
3 Steelers
4 Texans
5 Raiders
6 Ravens
Titans first one out
NFC
1 Seahawks
2 Saints
3 Packers
4 Giants
5 Vikings
6 Cowboys
Panthers first one out
Super Bowl: Seahawks over Chiefs
This week I like
Chiefs +9
Ravens +3
Steelers -9.5
Lions +2
Panthers -5
Friday, September 02, 2016
32 NFL Storylines
AFC
Patriots - With Tom Brady and good coaching, this team is always going to be a Super Bowl contender. Can they survive four games without Brady?
Bills - Tyrod Taylor, McCoy, Watkins...could the Bills actually be exciting? They were 8-8 last year, is this a wild card team?
Dolphins - Will Tannehill continue to be mediocre or will ever break out?
Jets - This seems like a clusterfuck. Will they look competent at all?
Bengals - They were good last year but stumbled in the playoffs. Are they actually good or was last year a fluke?
Steelers - They've been under the radar for a little while, but seem capable of manufacturing a deep playoff run. Will they?
Ravens - Even more under the radar, but also have a history of bouncing back. Could they surprise people?
Browns - They're building something slowly. I doubt it, but could RG3 return to former success? What about Gordon?
Texans - Will Osweiler actually be good and give this team the thing they were missing?
Colts - Andrew Luck has got to turn into a top tier quarterback, right...is this the year it comes together?
Jaguars - They're still a couple years away right?
Titans - Is Mariota a bust or a rising star?
Broncos - The returning Champs turn to an inexperienced quarterback. If he's terrible, how long before the defense loses faith?
Chiefs - Poised to take the division...can they execute? Can they get a playoff bye?
Raiders - With Carr, they're going to be good some day. Will they contend this year?
Chargers - How many great years does Rivers have in him?
NFC
Cowboys - Is Dak the future? How good can Dak, Dez and Zeke be this year?
Giants - Manning to Beckham. That seems fun.
Eagles - Seems like a rebuild is underway.
Washington - Another year of Kirk Cousins, will we like that?
Vikings - What could have been an up and coming team looks like a lost season.
Packers - Every year with Aaron Rodgers, they can be a Super Bowl contender. Yet he only has 1 SB appearance. Will he get back there?
Bears - How good is Langford? Still, yikes.
Lions - Never won a playoff game with Megatron. How good can they be without him?
Saints - Will Brees win the passing crown on a losing team again?
Bucs - Is Winston going to turn into a Pro Bowl QB?
Falcons - How much longer can Julio Jones be a dominant WR?
Panthers - Can they return to the Super Bowl?
Seahawks - Can they return to the Super Bowl?
Cardinals - They went 13-3, but Palmer and Fitz are getting old. Do they have one more playoff run in them?
49ers - They're bad, right?
Rams - How good is Gurley? What's it like to finally have a team back in LA?
Saturday, September 05, 2015
2015 NFL Predictions
Patriots 12-4
Dolphins 10-6
Bills 7-9
Jets 4-12
AFC North
Ravens 11-5
Steelers 11-5
Browns 9-7
Bengals 7-9
Tuesday, September 02, 2008
2008 NFL Predictions
Pats
Jets
Bills
Dolphins
Browns
Steelers
Bengals
Ravens
Jaguars
Colts
Titans
Texans
Chargers
Broncos
Raiders
Chiefs
Cowboys
Eagles
Redskins
Giants
Vikings
Packers
Lions
Bears
Saints
Bucs
Panthers
Falcons
Seahawks
Cardinals
Rams
49ers
AFC
Pats v Jaguars
NFC
Cowboys v Vikings
Super Bowl
I picked the Colts 2 years ago to win it all. They did.
Last year I picked the Pats. They went 18-1.
This year I'm going with the Pats to redeem themselves.
Tuesday, August 28, 2007
Complete (ly Worthless) 2007 NFL Predictions: Part Two
Ravens d. Jets
Colts d. Steelers
Pats d. Colts
Chargers d. Ravens
Pats d. Chargers
NFC Playoff Picks
Bears d. 49ers
Eagles d. Rams
Saints d. Eagles
Cowboys d. Bears
Saints d. Cowboys
Super Bowl XLII
Pats d. Saints
It is worth noting that although this is ridiculous, I did correctly predict the Colts to win last year.
Tuesday, August 21, 2007
Complete (ly Worthless) 2007 NFL Predictions: Part One
Jets 10-6
Bills 7-9
Dolphins 4-12
Ravens 11-5
Steelers 10-6
Bengals 8-8
Browns 7-9
Colts 10-6
Jags 9-7
Texans 6-10
Titans 4-12
Chargers 11-5
Broncos 9-7
Chiefs 6-10
Raiders 5-11
Cowboys 11-5
Eagles 10-6
Skins 8-8
Giants 5-11
Bears 9-7
Packers 6-10
Lions 6-10
Vikings 6-10
Saints 12-4
Panthers 9-7
Falcons 7-9
Bucs 6-10
Rams 9-7
49ers 9-7
Seahawks 8-8
Cardinals 6-10
So of course, trying to guess records is a fruitless task, but what the hell. I'm afraid I have too many repeat division winners, but I don't know any better. If you already know that I got something wrong, let me know in the comments.
Updated 8/30: I revised the NFC south and NFC West and took a win from the Chiefs and gave it to the Raiders.
Monday, August 28, 2006
Complete (ly Worthless) NFL Predictions: Part Two
Patriots vs Colts
NFC Championship:
Giants vs Panthers
Super Bowl:
Colts vs Panthers
Super Bowl Winner:
Colts
I'm not sure why I bother with these ridiculous preseason picks. If you think you can do better, let's see it in the comments.
Complete (ly Worthless) NFL Predictions: Part One
Dolphins (wc)
Bills
Jets
Steelers
Bengals (wc)
Browns
Ravens
Colts
Titans
Jaguars
Texans
Broncos
Chiefs
Chargers
Raiders
Giants
Cowboys (wc)
Eagles
Redskins
Bears
Vikings
Packers
Lions
Panthers
Falcons
Saints
Bucs
Seahawks
Cardinals (wc)
Rams
49ers
That's right! Arizona's going to the playoffs! Back with playoff predictions in Part Two.
