AD Bracket: The Champion

Arguably the best part about that video is Michael's like "GOB's not on board."

Let's try again.



That's more like it. The best part is the understated "Come on" at :46.

This was inevitable.

AD Bracket: Championship Game

This was inevitable.

At first glance, Michael is just a straight man, the glue that holds it all together. But he's so much more. From "You can't do that on the balcony, Buster?" in the pilot to him calling his son's girlfriend Annhog.



warning: recorded with a potato



And then it was a matter of GOB versus Baby Buster.

Did you really think that GOB was going to lose?




And now it's here. Michael vs GOB. Going mano a mano, HERMANO a HERMANO.

AD Bracket: Final 4

You guys broke me.

My original final four not only included Gene Parmesan but...The Surrogate. 

I know the Surrogate was only in a few episodes, but he always cracked me up. And I love Tobias as much as any Analrapist, but I feel like the Surrogate had a better PER. 

But you guys. You love chalk so much. If you had it your way, Buster would be a 1-seed, and you'd have all four 1-seeds in the final four. 

So I'm going to give The Surrogate his one shining moment: 

Michael: Oh, yeah, that’s my father. That’s why we had the meeting here— so that he couldn’t interfere.
Larry: Interfere? I ought to pull down your pants and spank your ass raw.
Michael: I’m sorry. Have we met?
Bob Loblaw: Oh, yes, this Larry Mittleman. He’s your father’s surrogate.
Michael: Surrogate?
Larry: That’s right, you dumb bleep.

Lucille: Well we figured you know best, and who are we to interfere, and you love this girl, and the rest will just be little happy surprises along the way. Like you said.
Larry: Yeah, with the exception of the retard thing.
George, Sr.: Oh, God.
Larry: Tell me you didn’t just say that.

George, Sr.: So I’ve hired this guy to be my eyes and ears.
Michael: You know, Dad, this guy costs us a fortune.
Larry: He’s worth every penny.
George, Sr.: Hey, I didn’t say that.

G.O.B.: What do you think, Dad? A whole... tiny town?
Larry: Another brilliant idea, Einstein.
G.O.B.: Really? You’d like to build it with me?
George, Sr.: Larry really never knows how to sell the sarcasm.

George, Sr.: So you’re saying shred the evidence?
Bob Loblaw: That’s a felony. And I certainly couldn’t endorse anything like that.
George, Sr.: Got ya. Wink.
Larry: Wink. Did you say “wink” or did you wink?
Michael: He said that, too, Dad.

- - -

In other news, Michael finally proved his worth to his Dad.
GOB had the easiest road to the Final Four since UNC.
And Buster, well once you get that guy going, it's hard to stop him.

- - -

So now we've got the weekend to think about this.

We've got Michael vs Tobias. Dead wife vs dead marriage. Cornballer vs cornholer.

And we've got GOB vs Buster. A true hermano vs hermano fight. Or boyfight, if you will.

AD Bracket: Elite 8

Let's get to it...

All the number one seeds took care of business against more bit parts.

The Doctor was no match for George.

God, I love the Surrogate.

Would you believe, I actually had Gene Parmesan upsetting Buster? But after reconsidering, and Mark's strong vote of confidence, I reluctantly let go of my Gene love. Gene!

But enough about last round...

I'm way more excited about the upcoming matchups.

Michael Bluth vs George Bluth, son vs father

And Buster vs George Michael, the two people that had to wear the frontispiece.

Will the Surrogate continue his cinderalla run?

Can Carl Weather get his stew on against GOB?

AD Bracket: Sweet 16

Here's the bracket that everyone's talking about!

Notes from Round One

You can't have a sweet sixteen party without Ice!

The Literal Doctor: I'm sorry, but I'm afraid there's nothing more that I can do.
[everyone gasps]
Michael: Let him keep talking.
The Literal Doctor: Because Dr. Stein has been assigned to your case.

Ann and Stan Sitwell suffered from the same problem. They were in a lot of funny scenes. But Michael and George Michael made Ann's scenes funny, not her. Same for Sitwell with GOB and George getting the laughs.

Banger in the mouth!

Confession: I never really liked Oscar (.com!) And I love Larry Middleman.

Lucille:Well we figured you know best, and who are we to interfere, and you love this girl, and the rest will just be little happy surprises along the way. Like you said.
Larry: Yeah, with the exception of the retard thing.
George, Sr.: Oh, God.
Larry: Tell me you didn’t just say that.

Another Confession: Maeby has her moments, but I never thought that her, Lindsay, or Lucille were nearly as good as their male counterparts. Sorry. Also, Steve Holt!

It's not easy being white. It's not easy being brown. All this pressure to be bright. I got kids all over town.

Now wait a minute. This is just purely a social call. You know, just two adults getting a stew on, man.

And that's why you never go up against J. Walter Weatherman in a bracket.

Gene!


Looking at the Sweet Sixteen matchups

All four 1-seeds advanced. As well as all 6-seeds.

Perhaps the best matchup this round is Tobias vs Mrs. Featherbottom.

But the real matchups loom large in the elite eight. Can't wait.

And as for my commenters, feel free to play out the bracket with your round one picks. It will be interesting to see how closely our final fours matchup.

The Arrested Development Bracket

It's March. I'm taking inspiration from Grantland, but this time beating them to the punch. And I found out how to make better looking brackets in Excel.

So without further ado...

I already filled out the entire bracket. I know who wins it all. But I figured let's do it a round at a time.

Sweet 16 Results: Monday, March 12
Elite 8 Results: Wednesday, March 14
Final 4 Results: Friday, March 16
Championship Game: Monday, March 19
Winner Revealed: Wednesday, March 21

- - -

I based the seedings on polls that I found online. And carefully constructed the bracket so that at each round my favorite characters would advance. And I tried to pair characters that shared something in common where I could.

Let's look at some tasty round one matchups:

Michael vs Rita (Mr. F)
Stan Sitwell vs George Bluth
GOB vs White Power Bill
Barry Zuckercorn vs Maggie Lizer in a battle of lawyers
Carl Weathers vs Lindsay
Steve Holt vs Maeby
Gene Parmesan vs Lucille

I'm posting these round by round so if Mark and Burnsy (or Kirat--don't think I forgot about my 4th reader) want to weigh in they can. But rest assured that your votes won't change anything.

Check back on Monday for the Sweet 16.

My Favorite Wire Characters Bracket

So once again, Grantland came out with a non-sports bracket:

Now, I'm not a Wire-fanatic. But I have watched the entire series. And I couldn't help myself.

So I put together a 16-character bracket. Why not 32? Well, just think of these as the first round of winners from the Grantland bracket. Why would I need to seed the people that couldn't win one matchup? Of course, it wasn't as simple as playing out the Grantland setup. Because some of my favorite 16 include people in first-round matchups from Grantland's bracket (McNulty and Cedric, Mouzone and Bunk, Snoop and D'Angelo, Avon and Prez). But also because I wanted to carefully construct this. More on that after you see it.

But the biggest question is what is your criteria for selecting your favorite character? I based it simply on this: which characters would I rather watch a scene of?

I based the seedings on Grantland's seedings. Which allowed for upsets. Which is key. If I just ranked my favorite characters 1 to 16, that wouldn't be a very good bracket at all.

So for example, Marlo didn't even crack my top 16 and Avon was out in the first round. I just didn't find them that enjoyable to watch.

So how do I construct a bracket like this, where I want to control how far each character advances? I do it in reverse order. And in tiers.

So Omar was my favorite. Then I wanted String to face him in the final. Lester and McNulty round out my final four. And then I picked my elite eight: adding Bunk, Clay, Carcetti and Cedric in that order. Then it's just a matter of juggling the seeds. Originally I had McNulty as a 4 and Lester making the Final Four as an 11 over the 3 seed Bunk. Then I realized I hadn't placed Avon and based on Grantland's seedings he needed to be in the top 4.

I was happy that I got to place McNulty vs Bunk. And the final four featured two street vs cop matchups, with the street winning both times.

- - -

Of course, this is just a personal preference. And like I said, I'm not a Wire fanatic. I'd love to hear what Mark's favorite characters are, at least a final four, if not an elite eight.

My Souper Bowl

So Grantland put together a soup bracket. But with some glaring omissions...no chili? I suppose you could argue that chili is not a soup, that it is it's own category, or that it's a stew and that's a separate bracket. Still I think it belongs. What about a gumbo? Or any cajun/creole dish? Crawfish chowder?

I think chili wins the tournament if it's in. But it's not. Here's my bracket, followed by the Grantland readers choices.

Analysis
Most underrated: Butternut Squash
Most overrated: Chicken Noodle

I would have had Chicken Noodle out in the first round if it had any decent competition. Miso, Lentil, Beef Barley, all lost in my first round, but could have beaten Chicken Noodle.

I think Wonton is fine. But Butternut Squash is divine. Captures the flavors of fall. Awesome with some roast chicken or turkey along side.

There were two first round matchups where I couldn't pick a winner. Where I wouldn't eat either soup under normal circumstances.

Clam Chowder is a fine, fine soup. But I defy people to sit down and have a good bowl of clam chowder and a good bowl of lobster bisque and say the clam chowder is better. I think this won on name only. (Which is stupid, because lobster bisque has a better name anyways. Can't explain this one.)

Paris Bracket

From our January 2006 trip:

London Bracket

Here's a bracket recap of our trip from March 2008.

Italy Bracket

Working backwards, here the bracket for our last European trip.

South America brackets

Sure, I could just make a list of our favorite attractions, but the bracket takes into account our pre-trip perceptions. Plus, everything's more fun when it's in a bracket.



I'm thankful for that 2003 internship I had in Peoria where I learned how to do all kinds of stuff in Excel. From Calcutta to making charts, it's proved useful.