Solutions to Eliminating Kickoffs in the NFL

Kickoffs are the most dangerous play in the NFL. They also happen to be boring and stupid and bad.

Between the extra point and the kickoff that follows, two of the most boring plays happen back to back. I think most fans would be completely fine with just starting the ball on the receiving team's 20 or 25 and be done with it. Except for one thing. The onside kick. In the 4th quarter, being down anywhere from 9 to 16 points doesn't mean the game is completely out of reach. You still have hope your team can score, get the ball back via onside kick and score again. It's unlikely, but you have hope. Hope is good for fans and it's good for the NFL. So we can't just eliminate kickoffs entirely, we need to account for hope.

(Another thing that I enjoy is the surprise onside kick. It was used to great effect to help the Saints win their only Super Bowl. While this is incredible, it's really a perk, not a must-have.)


Option #1: The Schiano Proposal

As detailed here, the kicking team would have a 4th and 15 at their own 30. Most of the time, they would opt to punt. A punt is safer than a kickoff so this an improvement. And it gives teams an opportunity to go for it late in the game. I would argue a 4th and 15 (or even 4th and 10) is more exciting than an onside kick. It even preserves the opportunity for a surprise onside kick throughout the game by performing a fake punt.

Overall, this is a safer option over the current kickoff rules. However, mostly we're just swapping kickoffs for punts. In terms of excitement, it's not a huge difference.

Option #2: Automatic Touchback With Option To Go For It

This would be a simpler version. Instead of a kickoff, the receiving team simply gets the ball at their own 25. No fanfare, no time wasted, just back to the action. However, at any point, the "kicking" team would have the option of taking the ball, let's say on their own 27 facing a 4th and 13. Just like the proposal above, you could in theory never take the ball out of your quarterback's hand, from a touchdown, two-point conversion, 4th down conversion and subsequent final minute drive.

In short, this keeps the spirit of the first idea, sacrificing the ability to have surprise fake punts with the trade off of eliminating 8-10 punts from the game.

Option #3: Automatic Touchback with Field Goal Conversion

Again, this keeps the automatic touchback unless the kicking team wants to attempt an onside kick. This replaces onside kicks with a 60-yard field goal that is worth zero points but a make wins possession. Make the kick get the ball on your own 40. Miss the kick give the other team the ball on your own 30.

This keeps the importance of a kicker and I'm guessing all the kickers would be in favor. Would be interesting if a kicker was feeling great in warm-ups and told the coach let's start the game by going for it....and then it gets blocked or shanked—would be hilarious.

Option #4: A Hail Mary Kickoff

This is something entirely new, so bear with me. Instead of a kickoff, the kicking team gets an untimed down. I'm thinking starting on their own 10, but that's debatable. When an incomplete pass is thrown it becomes equivalent to a punt, where it must be downed by the receiving team for them to take over possession.  However, if the kicking team advances the ball past the 50 they get to keep possession.

Most plays, the QB would just chuck it as far as they could and you'd get to see sort of a skills competition with strategy throughout every game of the season. Who can throw it the farthest? What about in the 4th quarter, are their arms tired? A sack would be huge! The surprise onside kick version is intact and could theoretically be done on every kickoff. Each chance of completing a 4th and 40 is lower than completing a 4th and 13 (or 10 or 15) but even an incomplete 60 yard throw is a decent kickoff. Would also be hilarious for a team (likely coached by Andy Reid) to get cute and try to convert 40 yards with a screen pass.

That's what I've got. If you have any ideas or opinions, leave them in the comments.

The moment Riley from Paris, Texas became a Rock Star

I saw this live and it was incredible. I've set this video to start at the 5:30 mark. At that moment Riley was just a dude at a concert who didn't even know the words. Three minutes later, he was a legitimate rock star. Though I can't be certain, I have a feeling this moment changed his life.

Burnout

This is a look at the Burnout series of video games. The best thing about Burnout is the takedowns and those were only introduced in the third game, which was the first that I played, so I'm going to start there.

Burnout 3: Takedown (2004 -PS2)

This game was incredible. The best mode was Road Rage where you are just focused on getting takedowns. Here's a nice example. One nice feature was even after you crashed you were able to control your wreck for a second so you could try to take out drivers in your wake. They also had an excellent Crash Mode with levels and multiplier tokens. Road Rage & Crash Mode perfectly done made this game beyond compare.

Burnout Revenge (2005 - PS2)

This game was mostly the same but they introduced "traffic checking" which encouraged you to hit same-way traffic from behind, which previously would have caused you to crash. I felt this took a bit away from the game, making it too easy to drive. Also, they removed the tokens from Crash Mode, so there was less things to aim for. Still, fun road rage and crash mode was mostly intact. The revenge bit was kinda cool, going after anyone who took you out.


Burnout Dominator (2007 - PS2)

They removed traffic checking, which is nice. No tokens in crash mode but overall this was great too. 

Burnout Paradise (2008 - PS3) Remastered (2018 - PS4)

I never played this game until this year. It's totally different from the first three games. It's a mixed bag as they added a lot but something's missing.

First, what's been added. For the first time, free roam driving. Not only that, but a really fleshed out exploration experience. There are jumps to find, billboards and obstacles to smash, tons of hidden areas. It's entirely fun to drive around solving puzzles on the fly of "how do I get up there?" without ever playing an event.

The city itself has a nice variety and is really well done. The game looks great. Road Rage works well (although I do miss being able to control my car after a wreck). I even appreciate the ability to choose the route I want to take in a race, something I've never done. It's fun to take a different route than the opponents and try to beat them there.

The downsides? There's no crash mode. There's a showtime mode where you crash into other cars, but there's no level design. There's no puzzle solving aspect to it. Just bounce into whatever cars appear. Which means every time it's the same. If they had a real crash mode, the game would be a 10 out of 10 for me.

Further, there's not that many types of missions (gone are eliminator races, etc). And 5 times you will upgrade your license and wipe away your progress on specific events. So that feels "grindey" and not well thought out.

Plus, you have to be at the point on the map to trigger an event. So if I fail a Road Rage but have driven across the map in the process, I have to drive back just to try again. A simple replay option would be nice, as would fast travel options. It's fun to drive, but when I want to switch a new car, it's not that great to have to drive more in a car I'm sick of.

Still love the series, just wish there was a better blend of free roam exploration with the events that worked so well before.

Niraj Influenza 2018

DAY ONE

Niraj arrived at Kansas City International (confusingly named MCI) Friday evening. We went straight from the airport to making our own six-packs at Lukas. Then we picked up the boys and took them to dinner at Raising Cane's and played some Lego Avengers on PS4. Finished the night off with some Kingdomino and Codenames Duet. We went 0-3 for in Codenames trying to pass the first mission. We also playtested my own board game creation to surprising success. 

DAY TWO

It's hot in Kansas City so we had to get out the slip n' slide for the boys, followed by some Mario Kart action. Then Niraj and I went to Q39 for some epic barbecue. Here we hammered out some additional rules to improve my game. 

Right after that, Brit, Niraj and I went to an escape room: National Security at Breakout Park Place. Not only did we escape with 9 minutes left..we set the (monthly) record!

After some victory gelato we got the boys and played basketball in the back yard along with more video games. That evening we headed to the Power and Light District. First stop was No Other Pub, a Sporting KC bar (the name is a riff on the teams' slogan No Other Club.) There we played Shuffleboard and Foosball. 

After games we headed over to Flying Saucer for some good beer and food. It started off great with some free pretzels via yelp and some nice beer choices. In a matter of minutes it turned into a mad libs experience. Dave and Niraj were inside FLYING SAUCER eating a REUBEN listening to SMASH MOUTH while a FIRE ALARM was going off. The alarm strobe light went off for the entire hour we ate our food. Still though...Kansas City: free parking, free shuffleboard, free foosball, free pretzels, free fire alarms. It was the first reuben of my life.

DAY THREE

More Nintendo. Then we went to Grant's soccer game. Came back played more mario kart and board games. Lots of games. For our last night, took Burnsy out to Beer Kitchen in Westport. We couldn't decide what to order so we got two sandwiches and split them: Short Rib Grilled Cheese and... the Reuben. Rueben #2 of my life. Beer Kitchen is fantastic...(though they could use a more imaginative name.)

We came back and played one last game of Codenames and we finally beat the first mission on the very last turn with an incredible clue. [Mark = Pedophile]

DAY FOUR

I had to go to work and Burnsy had to fly out so all we had time for was a lunch at Char Bar. A weekend full of good food, good beer, lots of games and fun times with the kids too.

2018 Master Kansas City Barbecue List

I'm slimming this document down to just notes so it's easier to navigate. I don't need to document every time I go to Q39, for example.

Previous Years:
2017
2016

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Elite Tier

Elite tier is best of the best. You're probably going to have to wait in line.

Q39

Mr Burns is a perfect sandwich.

Ribs are 100/100. Half rack of ribs is a great order.

Their brisket is not my favorite. Gotta go ribs or burnt ends.
Ranking of side dishes: mac & cheese is amazing, fries good, potato salad fine, beans not great.

Slap's

Burnt ends, brisket and sausage all great.
Loved the spicy sauce. Brisket plus sauce on white bread was killer.
Potato casserole probably best side I've ever had in my life.
Fries not that great.
I'd put Slap's brisket ahead of Q39 & Char Bar but their burnt ends below those two spots.

 Great Tier

Even though they're not the top tier, I still enjoy these places and will choose to go here depending on convenience, shorter lines, atmosphere, etc.

Char Bar

Burnt ends are first-rate.

Ribs are hit or miss.
Brisket is solid and I love the sauce.
Sides are good too. 

Arthur Bryant's

This is the OG.
Distinctive sauce, huge portions.
Burnt ends too saucy, no char. Still good but not my favorite.
Classic.


Burnt End BBQ

Burnt ends are the star, ribs are good too.
Like the sauce selection, chill atmosphere.
Not as serious. Nice when you just want a sandwich.

The Gates Tier

Gates gets its own tier as might be amazing or it might be kinda bad. I don't know that it's fair to split the difference and just call it great—that doesn't quite capture it.
I've been disappointed with their burnt ends and their skimpy beef on bun.
The double decker beef (above) is legitimately great, the white bread is perfect for brisket.
I need to try the ribs. Fries are just okay.
I'm biased because this is what I grew up with, so I love the sauce and overall flavor.
Sam Mellinger described Gates as "where you might eat the best barbecue meal available in Kansas City but you might also eat the worst." So when I say hit or miss, that's what I'm talking about.

Solid Tier

Jack Stack

Beef burnt ends better than pork—both are not elite.
Like the ribs.
Also liked beans and potato salad.
Good but not life-changing. Confirmed this is not on the level of Q39 or Slap's.

Joe's

The Z-man is the thing to get here.
Overall, their meats run a bit dry.
This place is overrated, but that sandwich is their saving grace.


Danny Edwards 

Only had the burnt ends.
Solid, not spectacular.

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Places To Try

LC's
B.B.'s
Brobeck's
Blind Box