Furthermore, we should've beaten them in 2002!

THE ohio state is not going to the Nat'l Championship this year, and maybe they shouldn't have gone in 2002. Here's the video evidence, and I swear that he's got control of the ball and a foot/knee down in the endzone.

the JUICE is LOOSE

We knew we could, we just didn't know if we would.

interesting headers on nflshop.com

Notice anything unusual? (Besides the fact that Shanahan's picture was taken while he was on the toilet.)

Hoagie Central's Giant Fucking Lock of the Week: Week 10

I like a lot of teams to cover this week: Chiefs, Titans, Bears, Lions, Colts...but which one has the one that I like the most?

Chiefs -3 over Broncos

The Chiefs are 1-0 in the locks and this is one of those where I just know my team. This team will bounce back. The defense will be ready. This team won't lose back to back at home.


Previous GFLW's (7-2)
Week 1: Steelers at -4.5 = Win by 27
Week 2: Bengals at -7 = Lose by 6
Week 3: Chiefs at -2.5 = Win by 3
Week 4: Patriots at -7 = Win by 21
Week 5: Patriots at -16.5 = Win by 17
Week 6: Patriots at -6 = Win by 21
Week 7: Seahawks at -8 = Win by 27
Week 8: Colts at -6.5 = Win by 24
Week 9: Pats at -5.5 = Win by 4

Mid-Season Mid-Review

There've been 9 weeks, and most teams have played 8 games. So how's everything going?

To me it looks like the NFC division winners will be:
Dallas
Green Bay
New Orleans
Seattle

That leaves 2 wild card spots for:
New York
Washington
Detroit
Tampa Bay

Methinks the Lions and Giants find their way to the postseason.

The AFC is a little cloudier...

I think the AFC Division Winners will be:
New England
Pittsburgh
Indy
San Diego

But that leaves all these teams fighting for the last two spots:
Buffalo
Cleveland
Baltimore
Tennessee
Jacksonville
Kansas City

I like both the Jags and Titans but don't think it's likely for 3 playoff teams to come out of the same division. So, right now I'd pick the Titans and Ravens.

What about the Chiefs - Lions?

Well they're 4-4 and 6-2 respectively, and I like Detroit's schedule better. Even if the Chiefs get to 8-8, I think the Lions will get Kitna's 10 wins. Looks like I'm the one buying that effing burger.

Home Team?

I've got a comfortable lead and plan on padding it this week. Mark and Burnsy are fighting it out for the right to not pay me money. Matt should be in last, but is in 4th because Rishi and Kirat forgot to make picks one week. Right now it's a dogfight (that's illegal) to avoid ordering the trophy, but I don't expect Kirat to stay in the cellar.

Construda?

Well, after week 6 I wasn't very optimistic:



Drew Brees was a bust and I was strugggggaling. But now look just three weeks later:


Assuming I beat Rishi in the rematch, I'll own the tiebreaker on points, so from here on out, all I need to do is match him in the rest of the games. Which I will. I'm making the playoffs.

As for what happens in weeks 15 and 16. Call me crazy, but I like my chances. I'm afraid of Brady, but I think I now have the depth to take on anyone.

Week 10 Picks

Bills -2.5 over Fins
Steelers -9.5 over Browns
Chiefs -3 over Broncos
Titans -4 over Jags
Vikings +6 over Packers
Eagles +2.5 over Redskins
Rams +11.5 over Saints
Panthers -4 over Falcons
Bengals +4 over Ravens
Bears -3 over Raiders
Cowboys -1.5 over Giants
Lions +1 over Cardinals
Colts -3.5 over Chargers
49ers +10 over Seahawks

who's got the smoothest hands in the nba?

Tale of the Tape: Boston vs Miami

Red Sox 96-66 (1st and won World Series)
Marlins 71-91 (26th in MLB)

Celtics 3-0 (Garnett, Pierce, Allen)
Heat 0-4 (Wade Injured)

Boston College 8-1 (2nd in ACC)
Miami U. 5-4 (7th in ACC)

Patriots 9-0 (Brady, Moss, Welker, Vrabel, Bruschi)
Dolphins 0-8 (Cleo Lemon)

time to fill out your brackets!

Call me a homer, but I've got Illinois going all the way to the Final Four!

illibuck preview

This week's Illinois-Ohio State matchup is the first of two trophy games this year for the Illini (Illinois doesn't play Purdue this year, so the Purdue Cannon will remain uncontested. Next week, Illinois will try and win back the Sweet Sioux Tomahawk from Northwestern for the first time since 2002.)

Shockingly, Ohio State leads the series, 56-22-2. But it's been close over the last 6 meetings:

1999: Illinois 46-20 at Columbus
2000: OSU 24-21 at Champaign
2001: Illinois 34-22 at Columbus (Illinois went on to win Big Ten)
2002: OSU 23-16 at Champaign (OSU ranked #1, went on to win Nat'l Champ)
2005: OSU 40-2 at Columbus
2006: OSU 17-10 at Champaign (OSU ranked #1, went on to lose Nat'l Champ)

Interesting Notes:
5 of the last 6 games have been won by the road team.
Illinois played OSU very tough in both games that OSU was ranked #1.
The last time Illinois beat a #1 team was 1956.


For this week's game, the point spread has been steady at OSU -15.
Can Illinois pull the upset?

Well, this is the year for unpredictable college football results. Why not?

Oh, and don't bother looking at the series history, it's just depressing how far you have to scroll.

07 Picks: Week 9 Recap - Pregnancy Helps You Make Picks

Week 9
Dave: 7-7 = Even
Mark: 5-9 = Down $80
Sports Guy: 6-8 = Down $40
Sports Gal: 9-5 = Up $80

On the Season
Dave: 65-56-9 = Up $180
Mark: 44-65-9 = Down $420
Sports Guy: 59-63-8 = Down $80
Sports Gal: 67-55-8 = Up $240

Fantasy Update
I'm only 20 points away from being the top Chiefs' fan and 257th nationally.

Hoagie Central's Monday Morning Bonerjam NFL Jumbalaya

That was one of the most entertaining Chiefs' losses I've ever seen. After a dreadful first half, it went back and forth and it came down to a long Favre bomb with less than 5 minutes to go. But this play was so awesome, especially the celebration. Here's my question: Why didn't the Chiefs play to win the game? Isn't that why you play the game? Also, LJ decided he would continue to stick it to fantasy owners by getting 21 points and then getting injured.

Joey Harrington saved the Falcons season by leading them to a 20-16 win over San Francisco. His 138 yards, no touchdowns, and 1 interception got them to be 2-6 on the year. Nice job, Joey.

The Bengals have trouble holding on their teeth, whether they are real or gold. The Bills had 28 more passing yards than the Bengals. Oh yeah, and 148 more rushing yards. Lynch must be the rookie of the--

Holyshitwhat'sgoingonwithPurpleJesus? If there was going to be anyone to break the single game rushing record in 07, you'd have thought it was going to be LDT. But it was his opponent, who ran through the Chargers. You think they miss Wade Phillips on defense? Norv stinks. And it's ridiculous that the Chiefs are in first place ahead of the Chargers on tiebreakers. The really strange thing about AP's record? There were 10 other carries by Viking running backs and the QB tandem of Bollinger and Tarvaris doesn't exactly strike fear into defenses. Just wow.

Also, the Lions are 6-2. But their two losses were by 35 and 31. Does that make any sense? Although it helps that Cutler got injured. This 6-2 team, only one game out in the race for the NFC's best record: less first downs than opponents, less yards, less rushing, less passing, less sacks, less TOP, but they are +8 in turnover ratio. And they are the only NFC team that is undefeated at home. As for Denver, the AFC West went from the best division to basically the worst.

Shockingly, Drew Brees outplayed Quinn Gray. The Saints lost four, won four. Watch out for them in weeks 14-17, they might be back on again by then.

The Redskins should be embarrassed by their performance yesterday. To only win by 3, in overtime, against the Jets. Just terrible. At one point the Jets were up 17-3. So it makes sense that the Jets needed a last second field goal just to force overtime.

You're not going to believe this, but David Carr couldn't get anything going offensively. What a fall from grace. I remember when he was an elite quarterback in Houston. Oh wait, that was Warren Moon.

The crappy Bucs beat the crappy Cardinals in a crappy game for crappy fans.

Janikowski missed a 64-yard field goal...off the right upright, halfway up. New Raiders gameplan: widen uprights, kick field goals on first down of every possession from anywhere on the field.

I'll skip ahead to the night game to save the best game for last--How about that Tony Homo? And 174 yards for TO? It's almost as if he was trying extra hard against the Eagles for some reason. Well, maybe Philly just stinks.

And now...the game of the century...the ultimate test between the best teams in the league...the late afternoon game that everyone around the world was watching...the game with all the 4th quarter heroics you could ask for.... the Seahwaks vs the Browns! The Browns come back from 21-6 and win in overtime and are only a half game back from the Steelers. Romeo Crennel celebrated the win by eating a 10-gallon bucket of potato salad.

And there was some other game yesterday, but I turned it off in the first half because it was so boring, so I'm not sure how it ended, and I don't even remember who played. Oh well.

how my wife is awesome OR lord of the rings: the field of the ring

The Setting: Halloween Night - about 9 pm - The soccer field a block away from my apartment.

As part of my goal to get more exercise, I was taking advantage of the decently warm weather. (Tuesday I went out with a football and soccer ball and it felt good to get running again.) Wednesday, I went out with just my football, and I was for the most part, punting the ball nearly straight up and trying to field it.

And after about only 5 minutes, I fielded a punt, and something didn't feel right. The ball came into my hands, and I noticed that my second finger on my left hand was empty. My wedding ring had fallen off and was somewhere in the grassy field.

Had it just fallen off? Was it near where I caught it or where I kicked from? Or did it fall off minutes earlier when I was running into the endzone or recovering an errant kick. Literally, the ring could have been anywhere in the field.

I spent the next 30 minutes searching, including crawling on my hands and knees, feeling in the near dark. The whole time I was thinking about what I was going to say to Brittany. Because I was raised by TV sitcoms, I expected my wife to be upset. But after coming up empty in the dark and now being quite cold in my athletic shorts, I knew I had to go in.

And I give her all the credit in the world, because from the moment I told her, there was not one second where she panicked, got upset, or blamed me for losing it. We gathered our battery powered lantern, put a coat on Rocky, layered up ourselves and went out looking for it.

So now it's Halloween night, about 10 pm, and we're in the middle of a dark field with a lantern and a dog in a purple coat. And the lantern made such a difference that I was just completely sure that we would find it. I mean, it just fell off. It didn't get buried. No one could have taken it. It's just sitting there in the grass, and with the lantern, we'd be able to spot it right away...right?

So we looked and looked. We made sweeping paths, row by row. I looked in the spots where I thought I had kicked from and caught from. We looked all over. But it was dark and it was cold and we just couldn't find it. But still I held out hope. I would wake up and with the power of daylight, it would be obvious. It would just be sitting there in the sun, waiting for us, and then it would be over. I was sure of it.

7 am came, I woke up, 23 minutes before sunrise to go out and look for it. And when I got out there, I was shocked out how much difference the light made. The field was shiny and lit and I thought for sure, it would just be a matter of walking the field for a few minutes. After 30 minutes, Brittany joined me before she had to go to work. We walked the field again with the sun shining and couldn't find it. She had to go to work, I had to go in and get ready for work. She said we should get a metal detector. I didn't want to pay for that, and I thought that all we needed was to borrow a rake and we'd be able to hear it, or we could just keep looking.

After I showered and got ready for work, I went back out just to check. But no. I couldn't find it. And I had to go to work for the first time as a married man without my ring on. And I had to start accepting that maybe we weren't going to find it. Maybe I blew it and we'd have to buy a new one, and spend another $400+ but it wouldn't be the same, and I didn't want to even think about it.

All day long, my fingers instinctively felt for it, just as I check for my wallet, except that my fingers found flesh instead of metal. I couldn't focus on my work because I was thinking about my ring, and I couldn't think about finding the ring because of all the work I had to do. At 4pm, this day of all days, we finally had our work team outing at a bar--an event that had been in the works since January. My plan was to get home by 5:30, and with the help of Niraj and Brittany stay out until we found out. Maybe my landlord had a rake that we could borrow.

Well, the team outing lasted until 7pm and I emerged from the bar where I didn't have a signal. So I called Brittany to see what she was doing. And she said that she and Rocky had driven 45 minutes to the northside to rent a metal detector for $25. I couldn't believe it. I was holding out hope that we would find it on our own and we wouldn't have to pay anything to fix my mistake.

Well, now we had a metal detector. The only question was would it work? Brittany told me that she saw students playing soccer in the field that afternoon. My heart sank. What if someone had already found it. At this point I was accepting the fact that it might not be in this field anymore. We could search for the next 5 hours and the whole time, it might not even be there.

So around 8pm Brittany showed up in the field with the metal detector, I was there with the lantern, and Niraj was on his way. She started sweeping the area, and it was picking up things. We found one sprinkler head that was hidden from view, and a couple other hits where whatever it was, must have been buried, because there was just nothing on the surface. Every time she got a hit, I ran over with the lantern, and felt with my fingers for anything there. And every time there was nothing. I couldn't help but think that now the ring was lost and we wasted money on a metal detector too.

And then, it only takes a second, after she got a hit with the detector, she bent down and plucked it from underneath a clump of grass.

I couldn't believe it. There it was, in the middle of where we had been looking for hours upon hours. And it had only taken 20 minutes with the metal detector. I just couldn't believe it.

The weird thing was, when she got the hit, I came over with the lantern, was in the right spot, and couldn't see it. But it was there. And she found it.

And ever since then, it's been this huge relief, and it just feels amazing to be back to normal.

Hoagie Central's Giant Fucking Lock of the Week: Week 9

The Redskins are looking to bounce back, the Pats are looking to humiliate everyone and the Titans are facing David Carr...

This Week's GFLW: Pats -5.5

I'd love to see the Pats lose, but I don't think it happens, and I think they make sure it's not close at the end either.


Previous GFLW's (7-1)
Week 1: Steelers at -4.5 = Win by 27
Week 2: Bengals at -7 = Lose by 6
Week 3: Chiefs at -2.5 = Win by 3
Week 4: Patriots at -7 = Win by 21
Week 5: Patriots at -16.5 = Win by 17
Week 6: Patriots at -6 = Win by 21
Week 7: Seahawks at -8 = Win by 27
Week 8: Colts at -6.5 = Win by 24

Week 9 Picks

Titans -4 over Panthers
Buffalo +1 over Bengals
Broncos +3 over Lions
Jags +3 over Saints
Chargers -7 over Vikings
49ers +3.5 over Falcons
Redskins -3.5 over Jets
Bucs -3.5 over Cards
Browns -1 over Seahawks
Texans +3 over Raiders
Cowboys -3 over Eagles
Ravens +9 over Steelers
Pats -5.5 over Colts

The Chiefs are coming off their bye.
The Packers are playing 2 road games in a row.
The Packers just played on Monday night.
The Chiefs are usually solid at home.
Favre has never beaten the Chiefs.
I think the Chiefs should win this game. But will they?
Packers +2 over Chiefs