hump day hamper dump

Worst. Offer. Ever.

A Patriots story that brings a smile to my face.

An odd picture from Mizzou.

07 Picks: Week 4 Recap - Mark Makes Money

Week 4
Dave: 8-6 = Up $40
Mark: 9-5 = Up $80
Sports Guy: 8-6 = Up $40
Sports Gal: 5-9 = Down $80

On the Season
Dave: 32-24-6 = Up $160
Mark: 25-31-6 = Down $120
Sports Guy: 31-25-6 = Up $120
Sports Gal: 32-24-6 = Up $160

Softball Playoffs / 2007 Wrap

After shocking the world in the first round of the playoffs, our team advanced to the Saturday portion of the playoffs for the first time in team history. The bracket consisted of 11 teams, and we were the 10th seed. (I'm not sure what team could have advanced with a worse record...but oh well.)

So the top 5 teams had a bye into the elite eight, leaving the first round matches as:

6 vs 11
7 vs 10
8 vs 9

Could we pull off another upset? We were the visitors. I was again in the leadoff spot and pitching the whole game...








Batting Stats for Playoffs-Game Two:
1st AB: 1B, run
2nd AB: out
3rd AB: 1B

Average: 0.667
Slugging: 0.667

Pitching Stats for Playoffs-Game Two:
7 IP
1 runs
0 K
0 BB

ERA: 1.00 and the win

The only run I gave up was a home run - a monster shot to right field. Although in the bottom of the 7th, there were runners on first and second and two outs. Luckily, our defense came through and held on for the win.

The Good News: We were now in the Elite Eight.
The Bad News: We were lined up against the #2 seed.

We actually did have the lead after the first inning, 5-2. In fact, the top five batters in our lineup scored before we had any outs. Although by the end of the 5th, they were asking if we wanted to give up when it was 15-5. But we stuck it out, and finished 18-6.

Batting Stats for Playoffs-Game Three:
1st AB: 1B, run
2nd AB: 1B
3rd AB: out
4th AB: out

Average: 0.500
Slugging: 0.500

Pitching Stats for Playoffs-Game Three:
7 IP
18 runs
0 K
1 BB

ERA: 18.00 and the loss

So the playoffs end with us, losing in the elite eight. But beating the two-time defending champ in a come behind victory was by far the highlight of the season. It was a good year.

Here's the season wrap-up:

Team Regular Season: 3-6 (6th out of 8 in division)
Team Mid-Season Tourney: 2-1 (Won Consolation Bracket)
Team Playoffs: 2-1 (Elite Eight Finish)
Team 2007: 7-8

Pitching Record in 2007: 7-5 (I was responsible for all 7 wins, and the three games I didn't pitch we lost)

Batting Stats for the Season:
21/37: 16 singles, 4 doubles, 1 triple, 12 runs scored, 4 walks, 6 rbi, 1 strike out.
Average: .568
Slugging: .730
OBP: .610

Pitching Stats for the Season:
72 innings pitched
91 runs
10 K
3 BB

ERA: 8.85

more chiefs balls

The Chiefs came in and snapped the Bolts 9-game home winning streak. Although I can't embed it, here's the highlight video. I recommend watching it for the 3:05 mark where Chief who is scoring a touchdown on a fumble recovery appeares to celebrate perhaps an inch too soon, dropping the ball. No announcer mentioned it, and the official transcript says he scored, but still. I'm glad Jared Allen picked up just in case. Here's the screenshot:


Now, let's give out some game balls:

#3: Coaching Staff


This might be one of the few all year that go to the coaches, but they were able to not panic and make adjustments. They were able to mix it up, working in LJ and Gonzo and Bowe, the three playmakers.

#2: Dwayne Bowe



I can't remember ever being more excited for a single player. He has helped us win 2 games in a row, and he's just a rookie. He's 19th in receiving yards, ahead of notable names like Plaxico, Holt, Boldin, Harrison, and super-sleeper Vincent Jackson. And he's far and away the best rookie receiver and maybe the best rookie in the league, up there with Peterson. (Bowe won Rookie of the Week for Week 3 and is a lock for Week 4).

#1: Defense



Total points allowed in the 4th quarter, through 4 games: 3
Total touchdowns allowed in the 2nd half, through 4 games: 1
Points allowed in the 2nd half in Weeks 3 & 4: 0

That's right, back to back 2nd-half shutouts. No touchdowns allowed in the 4th quarter this year. The Chiefs are officially a 2nd-half team: outscoring opponents 40-13.


If there's anything that you want to build around, it's a solid defense.

well shit, I could've done that

Hoagie Central's Monday Morning Bonerjam NFL Jumbalaya

What a great weekend of football. It started Saturday with the wild upsets in college, so much so, that Illinois knocking off Penn State got largely overlooked--to be fair, it wasn't much of an upset. Illinois was only a 3-point underdog. Also, I just looked at this weeks spreads, and somehow the line has opened with Illinois being a 2.5-point favorite. Over #5 Wisconsin? Really? That doesn't seem right. (Sagarin has us rated as #40, and Wisconsin as #24)

Anyways, on to the Bonerjam.

The Falcons win using the "Weekend at Bernie's" Strategy. They brought out the rotting corpse of Morten Andersen and he makes 4 field goals, including at 46 yarder. After the game, they re-buried him in order to keep him fresh for next week.

The Bills proved the adage "It's really hard to go winless." Bet against Buffalo the rest of the year. But don't bet on the Jets either.

Meanwhile, Miami is really trying hard to disprove that theory. Perhaps the 07 Dolphins will set a new record at 0-16, and then every year when the last winless team wins a game, they will break out the Champagne.

BREAKING: Romeo Crennel has just quit his position of Cleveland Browns Head Coach. After defeating the Ravens 27-13, he has decided to go out on a high note. He was quoted as saying "There's no way in hell we should be in 2nd place right now. I'm getting the fuck outta here!"

Just like when Dante Hall was with the 2003 Chiefs, his punt return for a touchdown proved to be the game changing play. Without that return, the Rams would have lost by 35 instead of just 28. Also, Brees over Romo right now is the new Bowie over Jordan.

The Packers are 4-0, but the real story was Brett Favre breaking an NFL record. Sunday marked the 422 time that he has been referred to as a "gunslinger."

Tampa Bay is running away with the division. On a related note, Oprah is homeless and yesterday it was raining toast.

After Alex Smith was injured on the third play, Trent Dilfer came in and threw for 400 yards and 7 touchdowns as the 49ers trounced the Seahawks. I''m kidding of course. Dilfer stinks, Gore can't get more than 80 yards, and the Seahawks didn't fumble any handoffs so I guess they won.

The Cardinals beat the Steelers, but after the game Mike Tomlin suggested that the Cardinals coaching staff might have had some inside information. Great, just when Patriotgate is dying down, another spying scandal.

Peyton is so selfish and arrogant, I'm sure that he drafted himself #1 overall in fantasy. After Addai worked hard to get the ball to the 1, what does Peyton call? QB sneak. Jerk.

After 4 weeks, I've figured this all out. The best team in the league is not the Patriots. The best team in the league is...the Canary/Periwinkle Eagles. The worst team in the league is the Green/White Eagles.

Hester almost ruined it. Everything was falling into place on a Chicago fan's worst nightmare list. The Lions were playing poorly, and after a greasy pick six, the Bears were losing. Then Hester goes and takes the lead back. Thankfully, the Bears blow it at the end, and now their fans don't know what to think. Grossman? Griese? Orton? Can we get somebody to play defense? Here's the new gameplan: Hester at QB.

And then...the Chiefs. 12-point underdogs on the road, and they win by 14. Of course, what is everyone talking about? How Norv Turner blew it. And that's fine. Although both Will Leitch and Keith Olbermann used the same joke, namely using the Chiefs name as the punchline, as in how could anyone lose to the Chiefs. (Nevermind that the Chiefs went to the playoffs last year, have split with the Chargers the last two years). Regardless, it begs the questions, why was anyone complaining about Martyball last year when the Chargers were 14-2?

And as for Monday Night Football, the best offense goes up against the #30th defense. Did I mention the Pats also have the best defense? Well, they may be #1 in both offense and defense, but just wait a couple weeks until the Patriots get all their players back from injury. Then they might turn out to do something. (Sigh)

big ten win!

Illinois is off to it's best start in the conference in 16 years! Sure it's only 2-0, but still.


Also, the espn video is a pain in the ass to embed, but it was worth it.

the d. bowe show

Memo to the rest of the NFL: Get used to Bowe lighting you up!



Memo to the Chiefs: Put Bowe on one side, Sippio on the other!

Hoagie Central's Giant Fucking Lock of the Week: Week 4

This Week's GFLW: Patriots -7

I'm really surprised that this line isn't double digits. The Pats have dominated everyone, and the Bengals got beat by the Browns. Explain how the Bengals defense keep the Patriots under 38.

Previous GFLW's (2-1)
Week 1: Steelers at -4.5 = Win by 27
Week 2: Bengals at -7 = Lose by 6
Week 3: Chiefs at -2.5 = Win by 3

my fantasy team stinks

Could I have more guys injured? Actually, yes. Vernon Davis is on the bench, he's so injured. And yet I'm starting half of my team with Ambulance logos.

Also, Brees is on the bye, so at least he won't put up negative points for me this time. Sigh.

the funniest forecasts for the bears

Now that the Bears have listened to the fans/media/world and benched Grossman, I would revel in the following hilarious situations:

Griese comes into the game and throws a pick six on the first play against the Lions. After all the bitching and chanting to put in Griese, what will the fans do when they realize he's not any good either?

Or similiarly, Griese plays well against the Lions, tricks the fans into thinking he is their Super Bowl savior, and then sucks it up down the stretch, missing the playoffs.

After leading the Bears through the playoffs, Griese tears his ACL while winning the NFC Championship and is out for the year. Who do they start in the Super Bowl? Do they go back to the shattered confidence of Wrecks Grossman or the drunken, neck-bearded Orton. (He'll always have a neck beard to me).

Griese leads the Bears to a mediocre 7-9 for the next 5 years, while Grossman goes to Miami/Minnesota/Atlanta and becomes the second coming of Brett Favre.

Griese leads the Bears to a 12-4 season. However, just like Carson Palmer, he gets knocked out on the first play of the playoffs, the Bears lose the game and Griese is out until 2009. Your starting QB for the 2008 Chicago Bears? Rex Grossman!

are you teasing me?

This is a new feature, picking football teaser bets. This was something that took me a while to figure it out, so I'll explain it thoroughly.

A two-team teaser pays the same as betting one game against the spread. The trick is that you get to move the point spread 6 points in your favor on both games. The catch is that both teams have to cover the adjusted spreads, to win the teaser.

Of course, because I'm going to make things more complicated then need be, I'm going to make the first one a 3-team, 6-point teaser, that pays nearly 2-1. (+180)

Gamble-Tron 2000 Shoe-In Teaser of the Week®:
Patriots -1 over Bengals
Cowboys -6.5 over Rams
Chiefs +17.5 over Chargers

So I'm putting an imaginary 100 bucks on this, hoping to win 180 if they all come through. But if one of them doesn't, say the Rams only losing by 6, then I lose the entire 100 bucks.

Week 4 Picks: I don't like any of these picks

Ravens -4.5 over Browns
Raiders +4.5 over Dolphins
Bears -3 over Lions
Texans -2.5 over Falcons
Packers -1.5 over Vikings
Bills +3.5 over Jets
Cowboys -12.5 over Rams
Bucs +3 over Panthers
49ers +2 over Seahawks
Chiefs +11.5 over Chargers
Steelers -6 over Cardinals
Broncos +9.5 over Colts
Giants +3 over Eagles
Patriots -7 over Bengals

I wasn't sleeping on Schaub

As noted here, over two years ago, I was always high on Schaub as a QB and thought they should have plays with Schaub and Vick on the field at the same time. But did they listen to me? Noooooooooooo.

And now what do they have?

rugby is awesome

Here's a highlight video of the New Zealand National Team "The All Sippios"



Why couldn't rugby become more popular than futbol and football, worldwide? It looks friggin' sweet. Here's top ten highlights from the 03 World Cup.