HC Housekeeping

Through two months of 2020, I had made 61 posts on hoagie central.

That was the most in Jan + Feb since 2007, second place all-time. Many of them were long as hell too. At that point the over/under for 2020 blog posts would have been set around 200-210. I was on pace for the most blogging since moving to KC.

It would have taken something like a global panic to slow me down.

- - -

Sports are coming back. I've still got 2020 blog goals. And I weirdly miss writing just for me. And writing for Mark.

Medium has been kind of a roller coaster. On the one hand, it was perfect for all the stuff I've already written, but I'm running out of those. Also, I was able to use the tips to grow my followers count rapidly, but it didn't turn into views/dollars. It also renewed my interest in that kind of writing, and I wrote some fun new pieces.

Once I finish posting my backlog, I'll continue to post some new things from time to time there. But it will be more sporadic.

- - -

I'm continuing to ignore baseball but excited about the NBA and NHL in the bubble.

Based on how the MLB non-bubble is going, I'm anticipating a rocky NFL season where players and in some cases entire teams get Covid. Which will lead to odd canceled games. They really should add more bye weeks to the season now, plan on a Super Bowl a month later, so they have time for make-up games.

But they could be doing a lot of things differently.

- - -

What a weird year.

Creativity Update

I've written about this a few times, the previous two posts can be seen here.

And because it makes my soul feel good to see a current list of everything in one place, I thought it was time to revisit the list.

To this point in my life, I've created:

• three books (one choose your own adventure, one novel and one personal essay collection)
• five short films (VQ1, VQ2, Interview, Glen Undercover, Behind the Startup)
• three blogs: (one personal, one family, and one dedicated to writerly pieces)
• a tabletop game
• a cookbook
• a youtube series
• a photography collection
• two podcasts
• two albums in a high school band
• a twitter account where I pretend to be a comedian
• a restaurant concept with full menu
• two web riddles
• a side business designing book covers

In the last two years, I haven't added a ton to the list. There have been periods where I've focused on Hoagie Central, particularly around Super Bowl LIV. There have been periods where I've put all my attention on trying to be the best dad I can be. But like everything in life, it's all about trying to keep everything in balance. 

One thing I've noticed is that all the video games I've played in the last few years have a creative component to them. 

• The golf game where I built my own course, Hitman where I created my own contracts. 
• I bought Dreams thinking I could build my own game from scratch, but the tools have quite the learning curve. 
• So instead this year I've created over 30 levels in Mario Maker 2. It's really scratched my itch of wanting to develop a video game. 
• And I'm super excited about the Tony Hawk remaster, especially for the chance to build my own skate parks again. 

- - -

Last year, I teased that I was writing a new book. That was a bit premature. I will be writing new fiction content at some point, but instead of turning it into an ebook, I will be publishing it on Medium. That might be six months away. But plenty of non-fiction content will be going up in the meantime. 

In the last month, I've been very excited about getting back into Medium. I've found that when I'm writing pieces specifically for others to read, I find myself thinking about things differently. As I'm processing news, instead of stifling my opinions as something just to keep to myself, they end up growing and forming and begging to be let out of my head until I can finally get it on to the page. 

Strange Times

In January, I averaged over a post a day. Now it's been a month and I still don't have anything to say.

In the last week, I started putting my attention on Medium, which I hadn't done since 2016. Here's the link to that.

That's where I post things specifically designed for others to read. Where here the focus has always been what do I want to write, read, see.

As things return to normal, I expect to return to Hoagie Central. I still have the 2020 Census to do. Summer is usually quiet on HC anyways. One of the nice things is that it's always here, ready whenever I am.

Subbie Pippen

netw3rk's 22-second riff on Assorted Sub killed me. (audio nsfw)

Official 2020's AFC Prediction

Chiefs-Ravens is going to be the #1 rivalry in the AFC for the next decade.

I expect these teams to rack up the most AFC Championship game appearances in the 2020's.

QBs: Draft Update

I made a draft update to my QB Carousel post.

best of headgum (jake and amir)

Back in 2015 when the world wasn't on fire I posted my favorite Jake and Amir videos.

Well since 2016, they've been back in business as Headgum. Here's some of my favorites:

best song of 2020

Championship Blocking Foul Call

The ref at 1:42 made this his one shining moment.

QB Carousel

To cover all my bases, these 20 teams appear to be starting the same QB as they had in 2019, no surprises.

Chiefs - Mahomes
Ravens - Jackson
Seahawks - Wilson
Vikings - Cousins
Lions - Stafford
49ers - Garoppolo
Texans - Watson
Packers - Rodgers
Rams - Goff
Eagles - Wentz
Bills - Allen
Broncos - Lock
Falcons - Ryan
Wash - Haskins
Giants - Jones
Browns - Mayfield
Steelers - Ben
Jets - Darnold
Cardinals - Murray
Raiders - Carr

That leaves 12 teams which made moves, setting off chain reactions.

Saints keep Brees
Bridgewater goes to Panthers
Cam Newton goes to ????

Brady goes to the Bucs
Winston goes to ????
Rivers goes to Colts
Is Brissett a starter anymore ????
Chargers miss out on Brady so have Tyrod Taylor for now
Patriots rolling with ????
Cowboys tagging, keeping Dak
Titans keep Tannehill

Bears trade for Foles
Minshew becomes starter for Jags

Bengals setup to draft Burrow
Dolphins expected to draft one...Tua or Herbert?

- - -

Let's assume the Bengals draft Burrow and the Dolphins will draft one of Tua/Herbert.

The Patriots could have their pick of Cam, Brissett, Winston or try to draft one of Tua/Herbert. They have a history with Brissett but maybe Belichick sees something in Newton or Jameis that he thinks he can fix. Based on their history of making smart personnel moves, it would be very Belichick to draft Tua or Herbert and have them turn into a Pro Bowler for the next 10 years. (And that's good company with Mahomes/Jackson/Watson holding down the fort.)

I'm surprised the Chargers seem content to start Tyrod Taylor, which leads me to think they would be in the mix for one of Tua/Herbert or maybe they draft Jordan Love or Jacob Eason. For all of Bill Simmons' theorizing that the Chargers need to sell tickets in their new stadium and would want Brady to help that along, starting Taylor doesn't solve that issue.

I kinda expected Gruden to go after a free agent QB. Maybe Winston or Cam finds a new home in Las Vegas.

There are other names like Dalton and Mariota (and I'm sure others that I'm forgetting) but they appeared destined to become backups in 2020.

DRAFT UPDATE 4.23.20:

Dolphins indeed go Tua at 5. Considering that we don't even know if there will be a 2020 season at this point, it's the perfect year to take a QB that may not be healthy right away.

I was right that the Chargers wouldn't just roll with Tyrod Taylor. They grab Herbert at 6.

Love goes to...the Packers? Rodgers is only 36. Brady and Brees are still playing into their 40s. Odd choice.

At this point the biggest question marks for QBs are Cam, Jameis and Brissett.
And the only team who seems like they need another QB is the Patriots. They could have taken Love but instead traded down. I guess they think Stidham is the next Brady. I kinda thought if they didn't grab Cam or Brissett that they might draft a first-round QB.

4.26.20 Update:

Jameis Winston is no longer a starting quarterback. He signed with the Saints who already have Brees and Taysom Hill. He threw for over 5,000 yards and over 30 touchdowns last year. If you ignore the 30 interceptions, Winston seems like a highly coveted asset. If you go back to my draft predictions five years ago on Winston vs Mariota, I wasn't a million miles off. But the correct prediction for both would be they'd be backups in 5 years. Crazy stuff.

Cam Newton is still the biggest question mark for me.

Hell Yeah

This post used to sting deep. Now it's freaking awesome. Note the comment too!

Parody Lyrics: The Stereo's "Ramona"

Play this song but sing along with the lyrics below.



Hey 'rona, Corona, I told you Corona
Hey 'rona, Corona, I told you Corona

I wanna live for more years

Please calm all my fears
So will you spare me
Will you say that I'm the only one
Corona please, don't kill me

Hey 'rona, Corona, I told you Corona
Hey 'rona, Corona, I told you Corona

I wanna live for more years

Please calm all my fears
So will you spare me
Will you say that I'm the only one
Corona please, don't kill me

When it goes on too long and I'm not that strong
When I can't go on, Corona, yeah

Hey 'rona, Corona, I told you Corona
Hey 'rona, Corona, I told you Corona

I wanna live for more years

Please calm all my fears
So will you spare me
Will you say that I'm the only one
Coronaaaa, Coronaaa, yeah

First Double Bye in the Big Ten Tourney

Edit: Nevermind. This post was made on March 9 and by March 12 it was irrelevant. Hard to believe. 

This is the first time Illinois has earned the double-bye in the tournament. The last time they finished in the top 4, was in the 2008-09 season. There were only 11 teams in the Big Ten and no Wednesday games.

Here's the seeding history going back to that season.

4
11
13
9
12 – won two games to make it to Friday
8
9
8
9
5
5 - won one game to make it to Saturday
2 - won one game to make it to Saturday


It's been a long time since Illinois was this good.

Retro Bowl

One of the greatest games ever made was Super Tecmo Bowl (what I call it) or what it's officially called: Tecmo Super Bowl. 

So anytime I see a replication of it, I'm in. I bought Tecmo Bowl Throwback on PS3 ten years ago. Recently, a mobile game called Retro Bowl showed up in my recommended. Free to download so I checked it out.

They started me as coach of the Dolphins, promising that by doing well I can get a job offer from better teams. After inheriting a 2-14 team, I went 10-5-1 but missed the playoffs in my first year.

At the start of the second year, I spent my first draft pick on a speedy WR named Vance Akins. My offense is basically throw it to him on every play. I took this screenshot after Week 13 of his rookie year.

At this point, I think I was 12-1. Feeling great heading into the playoffs. And then after Week 14, I get this:

I finished 13-3 and was the #1 seed in the AFC. Even with the bye, I would have to play one playoff game without Akins. I grabbed free agent Fred Delaney to be my #1 WR for the playoff game.

With 48 seconds to go, I was down 3. 67 yards to glory.

Akins came back for the AFC Championship and I blew out the Broncos. On to the Super Bowl. Here's what happens right before the big game. 

As a coach, you love to get that right before the Super Bowl. Anyways, it didn't matter.

Yay, I won the Super Bowl. What's the one question I get asked?

Seriously? I just won the Super Bowl and my only two options are criticize the player or criticize the team? Also, we know he's on drugs! Of course he didn't play well. 

Anyways, so after taking the tanking Dolphins to Champions in two seasons, surely the Chiefs want me to coach them right? Nope. 

I ended up clicking on Detroit but then once I saw how shitty their roster is I just erased all my data.