The DaColbert Code predicts the 2009 Final Four: Midwest

Who will join UConn, Louisville, and Oklahoma in the Final Four? Only DaColbert Code knows...


Remember to scroll slowly to unravel the mystery properly.

Next up is the Midwest Regional which take place in Indianapolis.

Indy 500...

checkered flag...

checker board...

board game...

Candy Land...

candy bar...

Baby Ruth...

Barry Bonds...

bail bondsman...

Beetle Bailey...

Dilbert...

glasses...

classes...

college degree...

Degree deodorant...

armpit...

Pit something something...

Pit blank blank...

Pitt pit pit...

Let's just say Illinois!

Travel Update

We're on a train to Venezia. We've got one more night in Italy, and then we've got tomorrow night in London, and then we'll be back in the states on Friday. I'm sure we're looking forward to the US of A.

The DaColbert Code predicts the 2009 Final Four: West

Who will join UConn and Louisville in the Final Four? Only DaColbert Code knows...


Remember to scroll slowly to unravel the mystery properly.

Next up is the South Regional which take place in Arizona.

Arizona was in the Super Bowl...

soup bowl...

soup nazi...

nazis were from Germany...

as is the Shamwow...

cheesy commercials...

5-hour energy...

e=mc(squared)...

M.C. Escher...

skewed perspective...

You're watching Perspectives, and it's 4:54 in the am...

oh, what a beautiful morning, oh, what a beautiful day, I've got a beautiful feeling, everything's goin' my way...

Oklahoma!

Oklahoma is the third team in the Final Four! Check back Thursday for part four.

Bloggy McBloggington

Bloggy is a sad little boy in the 5th grade. Bloggy lives in Bloggington, Indiana. It smells like sulfur.

He has a crush on Bloggifer Bloggenstein. She's brings her lunch because her parents are so tight with money.

Bloggy is taking Bloggifer to the school dance which this year is themed: 20,000 Bloggues under the Blog. At the dance, Bloggy sees a girl out of the corner of his eye. He can't take his focus away from her. She is captivating. Her name is Podcasty Podcaster.

Travel Update

We're on a train to Firenze. Tuscany. I'm anticipating a slower, less crowded scene. On my list is a place that allegedly sells the best paninis on earth.

We're going to try and take a bus out to Fiesole, a town overlooking the Florence cityscape.

The DaColbert Code predicts the 2009 Final Four: South

Who will join UConn in the Final Four? Only DaColbert Code knows...



Remember to scroll slowly to unravel the mystery properly.

Next up is the South Regional which take place in Memphis.

Memphis Grizzlies...

grizzly bears...

Jumanji...

Robin Williams...

Roy Williams...

NO! I won't have it...

Okay, let's start over:

Memphis barbecue...

baby back ribs...

saddlebacking...

anal sex...

Albert Poo-holes

Cardinals...

Louisville!

Louisville is the 2nd team in the Final Four! Check back next Tuesday for part three.

a live post from rome

I can prove it. On Sunday, AC Milan beat Sampdoria 3-0.

Yesterday, I ate a panini that was the size of a laptop.

Okay, I lied, this was future blogged. F you space time continuum!

The DaColbert Code predicts the 2009 Final Four: East

In case you're not familiar...


Last year's DaColbert Code Bracketology got 3 out 4 teams right: Part One and Part Two

I can't let this code fall into the wrong hands. Remember to scroll slowly to unravel the mystery properly.

We're starting in the East Regional which takes place in Boston.

Boston tea party...

Tea time...

Tool Time...

Tim Allen...

Detroit...

Economic crisis...

Stimulus Plan...

Barack Obama...

Joe Biden...

Amtrak...

Railroad Tycoon...

Jim Calhoun...

Connecticut!

UConn is the first team in the 2009 Final Four! Check back Thursday for part two.

Travel Update

Today I woke up in Roma. I'm sure we had pizza last night. Umm...I don't know what else to say. Hopefully the weather is nice and it's not too crowded. Stay tuned for actual content.

UPDATE as of 15'30. So we didn't have pizza last night. But I did get a salami sandwich for lunch today.

We got to Rome at about 8pm last night and was dead tired. But the hotel did have free internet so I checked my email and right before I signed off, I logged on to arrowheadpride.com. And there I saw 10 posts about Matt Cassell. I saw the Vrabel trade before we left Chicago and was happy with getting him, but never expected to land Cassell.

I always wanted him this offseason but never really thought it was possible. I'm not 100 percent certain that Cassell is a franchise quarterback but for a 2nd round pick I think it's a great move and I'm excited for 09.

I'm on a plane!

I'm on a plane (I'm on a plane)
I'm on a plane (I'm on a plane)
Everybody look at me 'cause I'm flying on a plane (flying on a plane)
I'm on a plane (I'm on a plane)
I'm on a plane
Take a good hard look at the motherfucking plane (plane, yeah)

I'm on a plane motherfucker take a look at me
Straight flying on a plane across the deep blue sea
Busting five hundred knots, gliding through the rain
You can't stop me motherfucker cause I'm on a plane

Take a picture, trick (trick)
I'm on a plane, bitch (bitch)
We drinking Santana champ,
Cause it's so crisp (crisp)
I got my can of Coke
And my bag of snacks
I'm snortin' laughs, you in alley
Straight snortin' crack

I'm going to Italy, taking pictures and shit
Rome, Florence, and Venice you bet
But this ain't Olive Garden, this is real as it gets
I'm on a plane, motherfucker, don't you ever forget

I'm on a plane and
It's going fast and
I got a aeronautical themed
Pashmina afghan
I'm the king of the world
On a plane like Leo
If you're on the ground
Then you're sure not me-oh

Get the fuck up, this plane is REAL!

Fuck land, I'm on a plane, motherfucker (motherfucker)
Fuck trees, I climb altitude, motherfucker (motherfucker)
I'm in the cockpit with my boys, motherfucker (yeah)
This plane engine make noise, motherfucker

Hey ma, if you could see me now (see me now)
Arms spread wide on the starboard bow (starboard bow)
Gonna fly this plane to the moon somehow (moon somehow)
Like Kevin Garnett, anything is possible

Yeah, never thought I'd be on a plane
It's a big blue open sky (yeah)
Zeus
Look at me, oh (all hands on deck)

Never thought I'd see the day
When a big plane coming my way
Believe me when I say
I fucked a flight attendant-ay

I'm on a plane
I'm on a plane
Everybody look at me 'cause I'm flying on a plane (woah)
I'm on a plane
I'm on a plane
Take a good hard look at the mothafuckin' plane (sha-sha-shorty, shorty, yeah)

Best in Chicago

In June, I will have lived in Chicago for 4 years. (One of my first memories in this city was watching the 2005 NBA Finals in my little studio while shooting hoops on a mini-hoop over my closet door).

Anyways, I think I've lived here long enough to share my picks for my favorites in the city.

Italian Beef

When I was helping Brittany look for an apartment in the 04-05 winter in Lakeview, I asked the white, 30-something guy showing us places where I could get a good italian beef. He had no idea what I was talking about and referred me to an italian restaurant.

My Favorite: Al's #1 Italian Beef


I know now to order "beef, hot, dipped." That's with gardiniera and dipped in juice. Al's is just rich in flavor, hot but not too spicy. Just big, bold italian beef flavor.


Portillo's is okay and I've had many a meal there, from dogs to burgers. I've also had Mr. Beef and it didn't impress me the way that Al's did.

Deep-Dish Pizza

My Favorite: Edwardo's Natural Pizza


So this one is in my neighborhood but didn't go there for a while because the organic name threw me off. I though it would be too frou-frou or more for vegetarians. Now I know the organic touch just means fresh ingredients and quality taste.



Gino's East is the first one that I had and fell in love. But now I realize it's overrated, overpriced and the cheese slides around and the crust is not what I want. Same goes for Pizzeria Uno and Giardiano's.

Lou Malnati's and Pizano's are good, but don't deliver that true DEEP dish experience. And Bacino's was my go-to choice for a while. Not a big name but provides a good standard pie. But it can't edge out Edwardo's.

For the record, I've also enjoyed thin crust at Piece and Brick's, but deep-dish is where it's at.

Other

Hot Doug's for hot dogs.
Windy City Metal Detectors if you lose your wedding ring in a soccer field.
Fodor's See It for travel guides (I prefer the design/layout of the city guides as opposed to the country guides.)

Off to Italia tommorrow

Two weeks in Tuscany. Okay, not all of it's in Tuscany, but it just rolls of the tongue. Anyways, I've got a bunch of special posts that will be automatically posted over the next two weeks, one for every weekday, including a sure classic one tomorrow, so stay tuned to Hoagie Central.

My Subway Sandwich

At the end of the B.S. Report with the The Soup guy, (not to be confused with today's The USA Today) Simmons read an email about how now that he has a Subway sponsorship, he should try and get a sandwich named after him.

So that leads to the obvious question: If I could get a Subway sandwich named after me, what would I want on it?

This is not as simple as listing all the ingredients I like. It needs to be a cohesive unit that is not overpowering. Also, it needs to be substantially different from all current menu options, otherwise what's the point. Plus, it has to use only standard ingredients.

This is the Dave Fymbo:

It starts with a foot-long Italian Herb & Cheese. But I'm not just going to put a thick layer of meat on the bottom and top it with cheese. I'm alternating a thin layer of meat with it's cheese pairing to form layers of deliciousness.

The base layer is Black Forest Ham. It lays a foundation for the sandwich, both structurally and with flavor. The ham is paired with pepper jack cheese because the ham can handle the spice.

The middle layer is Salami. It goes so well with the ham and builds upon the character with Italian goodness. The cheese pairing here is provolone, so as not to mask the richness of the salami.

The top layer is Bacon paired with cheddar. It is the crescendo on this piece of art. The cheddar and the bacon doing a little dance of love on top of this 12-inch sub.

Now that is a sandwich. Of course how you top it is up to the individual. Personally, I'd take it with lettuce, onions, and mayo and some chipotle southwest sauce if I'm in the mood. And I wouldn't allow tomatoes. If you want tomatoes, I'd tell you to order a different sandwich.

actual sports analysis: Jim Calhoun and that pesky reporter

What went down: At a post-game press conference, a freelance journalist asked UConn men's basketball coach Jim Calhoun how he felt about being the highest-paid employee of the state of Connecticut. UConn is a public university and Calhoun makes 1.6 million a year, while the state is running a billion dollar deficit. When questioned, Calhoun responded strongly:

"Quite frankly, we bring $12 million into this university. Nothing to do with state funds. We make $12 million dollars a year for this university. Get some facts, and come back and see me. Get some facts, and come back and see me! Don't throw out salaries or other things; get some facts, and come back and see me. We took over $12 million for the University of Connecticut, which is state run. Next question."

Conventional wisdom: Mike & Mike defended Calhoun, and sort of went along with his defense. Saying that yes coaches make a lot of money, but they bring in a lot of money, and that's the way things are. Greenburg also brought up that a winning coach brings in a lot more in Alumni donations, that his job is to win games not turn a profit, and that the money they bring in goes to strengthen UConn as a university, and how do you measure the value of a good public school.

Late breaking facts: As reported on Deadspin, turns out UConn brought in $7,332,214 last year, but had $6,009,728 in expenses, for a net profit $1,324,486, which is less than Calhoun's total salary.

My take: It would seem that because Calhoun tried to justify his salary with the money that the basketball program brings in, that everyone else is content to play the argument out like that. That M&M think because he's netting $10 million for UConn he's right, and then when Deadspin finds out that he's not turning a profit, that Calhoun was wrong.

But I think that Calhoun's salary has nothing to do with how profitable the program is. He's not the CEO of a company and he's not getting bonuses for the company's bottom line. His job is to win games and if anything, he should get bonuses for the team's record--not sure if he actually does or not.

Ultimately, this is my main point: Calhoun gets paid the market value. He's one of the best coaches in history and he commands a large salary. He had to work his way up to this point, getting promoted and so on. If UConn doesn't pay him 1.6, I'm sure some other college would. Whether the program brings in 10 million or 1 dollar isn't relevant to the fact that 1.6 million is his market price.

Say a CTU Agent makes $100,000. Someone asks him if that's a bit high for a federal employee, and he says that we stop terrorists that would cause $10 billion in damage a year. Then we crunch the numbers and look at all their expenses: satellite feeds, magic drive readers that can read chips that no one's ever seen before, opening up new sockets, going on COM...and we find that they actually only net $50,000 in profit. So should that agent take a pay cut?

Of course not, Jack Bauer gets paid because he has specialized skills and you don't have any other choice but to pay him 100 grand!

The Chiefs Know How To Run Pylon

Here's a 32-yard over the shoulder floater from Thigpen to Bradley.

Previously: Croyle to Bowe