Hoagie Central's Monday Morning Bonerjam NFL Jumbalaya

The Bonerjam is back and is 3-3 heading into Week 7.

Buffalo beat the Ravens thanks to four field goals by Rian Lindell who is still pissed at his dad for spelling his name wrong on his birth certificate. Baltimore is one of those confusing teams, because just when you're convinced that they stink, they go and lose to Buffalo.

They Saints are Marching again! They were able to come back and beat the Falcons at home! Nothing can stop them now. Unless they play an opponent that doesn't have Joey Harrington on their roster. Meanwhile, Atlanta is absolutely shocked that they don't have the worst record in the league. Petrino said "I mean, we're still giving most of our carries to Warrick Dunn. We trotted out Leftwich and then backed him up with Harrington. How is there a team worse than us? We want that first pick, real bad!"

Neil Rackers executed the best onside kick I've ever seen. He then proceeded to miss the game winning field goal. He should have screwed up the onside kick because no one expected him to make that one.

The Giants beat the 49ers 33-15 and they continue to lead the league is upper arm exposure. Trent Dilfer was seen slamming his playbook to the ground. It was the best throw of his day.

The Dolphins dominated the time of possession throughout the game and outscored the Pats 21-7 in the second half. Am I the only one who thinks the Pats should be concerned the way they couldn't close out an opponent?

In the most exciting game of the day, the Texans came back from at 32-7 deficit in the fourth quarter to take the lead, only to lose it to the Titans on the final play of the game. The only thing that would have made this game more exciting is if it wasn't the Texans and the Titans.

The Lions beat the Bucs 23-6, or at least they should have, but they had a stupid roughing the passer penalty, and gave up on onside kick and 10 points later, they had to cover up another onside kick to avoid a complete meltdown. The Lions were doubled in passing yards, had ten less first downs and 11 minutes less in TOP. Clearly a great win for the Detroit franchise.

Priest Holmes! Priest Holmes! The Chiefs win with Priest Holmes! Who cares that he only had one good play, Priest Holmes won the game. He's so much nicer than Larry Johnson to the media, All Praise Priest!

Chad Pennington had three times as many touchdowns as Carson Palmer. Pennington should get a raise.

At the end of the first quarter, the Rams were only down by 4. It was anybody's game. Anybody except the Rams who are fucking terrible, yet somehow, not the worst team in the league.

BREAKING: The Philadelphia Eagles have cut their entire defense after giving up a 97-yard drive to Brian Griese in the last two minutes. Andy Reid was quoted as saying "I told them that 11 guys off the street wouldn't give up a touchdown like that, and I meant it. They're all fucking fired." He added "You going to finish that?" Also, because Griese came to life when his headset stopped working, some might think that Ron Turner stinks, and the Bears would be better off having Griese call the whole game. The truth is that they should keep Turner and just stop calling plays that involve Cedric Benson.

The Cowboys beat the Vikings because Minnesota forgot they have the NFL's leading rusher, and only gave him the ball 12 times. The Vikings coach later said "I'd love for Peterson to run the ball more, but Chester Taylor is holding my kids hostage in a basement somewhere. Also, he stinks."

The Broncos are 3-3, with all three wins coming on Elam last second field goals. It's easy enough to imagine that they could be 0-6, but if you try to imagine that they could also be 6-0, your head might explode.

Also, tonight, Colts! Jags! For the first time there's a decent Monday Night Game. First place is on the line in the best division in the league. The latest injury report: Manning was held out of practice all week, due to commercials for a sexual lubricant. "When you need to fit it in a tight hole, think of me, Peyton Manning. Sometimes, late in the game, you just see a tight window and you have to force it in. You know, like a true gunslinger."